Taken last February 16, 2013.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Buhay Gobyerno.
I officially became part of the government when I started working way back in 2007. My participation was the usual remittance of 10-15% of my monthly salary which was forwarded to our government in different forms and in different agencies. It was the time when I came to know who BIR, SSS, Pag-ibig and Philhealth are. It was also in the same circumstance when I gradually accepted that they will STICK with me forever.
Since my starting salary
was quite low compared to my batch mates who were working in Manila, I did not
really complain on the monthly deductions. I did not really mind how much they
were deducting as long as I have enough money to spend whenever my friends and
I would dine out or have the usual get together. That was until I started to work
in Ateneo.
I was blessed to have a
faculty-ranked position when I applied in Ateneo in October 2008. It was a
position under one of the busiest or should I say the busiest office in Ateneo.
The salary was really beyond my needs, it even supported my ‘frequent wants'. However, that was also the same year when I started to become more aware of my hard-earned money.
I began to question, where does my money go? How come that they are deducting this much? I slowly began to imagine bundles of thousands coming from the monthly obligation of all workers, not to mention the taxes from big companies, multinational companies.
And it all stopped there.
Not until I became part of the work force of the government.
I was hired as Guidance Counselor of the Department of Education, Camarines Sur Division last November 21, 2012. I was assigned at Pamukid National High School, San Fernando, Camarines Sur instead of Pili National High School, my supposedly first work assignment. I have to wake-up at 5:30am everyday and be ready by 6:15am for my 30-40 minute travel. I have to admit that the daily transport is quite tedious on my part considering that my body is not used to long travels.
When I first learned about my appointment in DepEd, I immediately informed my relatives particularly my aunts who were also working in the government. They were both happy and apprehensive. Apprehensive because they know how the system in the government works: the 'usual procedure' and the existing 'protocol'. They basically gave me tips for survival.
Being me, I reported on my first day with excitement. I usually have this kind of disposition whenever there is something new in my routine. My first jeepney ride was quite a thrill, I didn't know where I should say 'para po', how much I should pay and worst, I don't know where Pamukid is in San Fernando. Good thing jeepneys have 'konduktor', they are for me a 'mobile tour guide'.
Finding Pamukid National High School is not that hard, you can easily see the big signage beside the road. However, you would still need to take a few steps before you reach the gates of the school. Our school houses around 990 students with 35 personnel, 29 teaching and 6 non-teaching personnel.
The moment I entered the campus, I felt awkward. Perhaps because I was overdressed that time. I was wearing my black slacks and a semi-formal top. I wanted to make a good impression to my future boss and I remembered that 'power dressing' is an important factor if you want to make an impression, a good one :) Nevertheless, I continued to dress in the same manner even until now, because if I don't, the students might mistaken me as their classmate.
The days turned to weeks and months. By February 21, I'd be celebrating my third month here in our institution. However, it feels like I've been working here for ages and with my short stay, I was able to note a few things that I should always keep in mind.
1. Our work schedule is from 7:30am until 4:30pm. However, based on my observation, in the morning, some people tend to stretch the 7:30am call time to 7:45am or worse until 8:00am. BUT during dismissal, everyone seems to be in a hurry. 4:30 is 4:30. No extensions if possible. Yes, working overtime is a mortal sin not unless there is a school occasion.
2. Not everyone is given a 'blessing'. If you receive one, better keep it to yourself.
3. Almost all teachers would complain about how low their salary is, to think that their daily rate is way higher than the regular daily rate. I came to understand the reason behind after I saw how impulsive they are whenever there are sales representative visiting our campus. If one teacher bought an item, they must buy as well. Talk about competition.
4. Noise pollution is not new in public schools. It's either you go with it or you just bear the noise that's cracking the walls of your office. Perhaps this is the reason of my frequent migraine attacks.
5. It's really rare for teachers to keep their mouth shut and it's quite impossible for them to speak in low voices except during meetings.
6. When you're preparing meals or snacks for a visitor, always include the total number of employees in your school. It's a habit I think and again, I think this is the reason why some schools have depleting MOOE fund.
7. Always know where you stand. Some practices in the government would really test you and your values. Just stick to your values because you can never go wrong if your principles are clear.
8. Know when to 'read between the lines'. Some people would use sarcasm either as a form of joke or to indirectly tell you how they feel towards you. Be sensitive. Know when to smile and know when to reason out. Timing is very important.
9. Find someone who shares the same work value as you do. This will really help a lot particularly in coping with your working environment.
These only comprises a portion of my mental notes. I will try to add more as I try to remember them.
Nevertheless, I am happy where I am now. The longer I stay here, the more that I am convinced that I am needed here. Working in the public sector is quite a challenge, not because of the task but because of the people around you. Perhaps, I'll allot a separate blog entry for the more inspiring story/stories.
I began to question, where does my money go? How come that they are deducting this much? I slowly began to imagine bundles of thousands coming from the monthly obligation of all workers, not to mention the taxes from big companies, multinational companies.
And it all stopped there.
Not until I became part of the work force of the government.
I was hired as Guidance Counselor of the Department of Education, Camarines Sur Division last November 21, 2012. I was assigned at Pamukid National High School, San Fernando, Camarines Sur instead of Pili National High School, my supposedly first work assignment. I have to wake-up at 5:30am everyday and be ready by 6:15am for my 30-40 minute travel. I have to admit that the daily transport is quite tedious on my part considering that my body is not used to long travels.
When I first learned about my appointment in DepEd, I immediately informed my relatives particularly my aunts who were also working in the government. They were both happy and apprehensive. Apprehensive because they know how the system in the government works: the 'usual procedure' and the existing 'protocol'. They basically gave me tips for survival.
Being me, I reported on my first day with excitement. I usually have this kind of disposition whenever there is something new in my routine. My first jeepney ride was quite a thrill, I didn't know where I should say 'para po', how much I should pay and worst, I don't know where Pamukid is in San Fernando. Good thing jeepneys have 'konduktor', they are for me a 'mobile tour guide'.
Finding Pamukid National High School is not that hard, you can easily see the big signage beside the road. However, you would still need to take a few steps before you reach the gates of the school. Our school houses around 990 students with 35 personnel, 29 teaching and 6 non-teaching personnel.
The moment I entered the campus, I felt awkward. Perhaps because I was overdressed that time. I was wearing my black slacks and a semi-formal top. I wanted to make a good impression to my future boss and I remembered that 'power dressing' is an important factor if you want to make an impression, a good one :) Nevertheless, I continued to dress in the same manner even until now, because if I don't, the students might mistaken me as their classmate.
The days turned to weeks and months. By February 21, I'd be celebrating my third month here in our institution. However, it feels like I've been working here for ages and with my short stay, I was able to note a few things that I should always keep in mind.
1. Our work schedule is from 7:30am until 4:30pm. However, based on my observation, in the morning, some people tend to stretch the 7:30am call time to 7:45am or worse until 8:00am. BUT during dismissal, everyone seems to be in a hurry. 4:30 is 4:30. No extensions if possible. Yes, working overtime is a mortal sin not unless there is a school occasion.
2. Not everyone is given a 'blessing'. If you receive one, better keep it to yourself.
3. Almost all teachers would complain about how low their salary is, to think that their daily rate is way higher than the regular daily rate. I came to understand the reason behind after I saw how impulsive they are whenever there are sales representative visiting our campus. If one teacher bought an item, they must buy as well. Talk about competition.
4. Noise pollution is not new in public schools. It's either you go with it or you just bear the noise that's cracking the walls of your office. Perhaps this is the reason of my frequent migraine attacks.
5. It's really rare for teachers to keep their mouth shut and it's quite impossible for them to speak in low voices except during meetings.
6. When you're preparing meals or snacks for a visitor, always include the total number of employees in your school. It's a habit I think and again, I think this is the reason why some schools have depleting MOOE fund.
7. Always know where you stand. Some practices in the government would really test you and your values. Just stick to your values because you can never go wrong if your principles are clear.
8. Know when to 'read between the lines'. Some people would use sarcasm either as a form of joke or to indirectly tell you how they feel towards you. Be sensitive. Know when to smile and know when to reason out. Timing is very important.
9. Find someone who shares the same work value as you do. This will really help a lot particularly in coping with your working environment.
These only comprises a portion of my mental notes. I will try to add more as I try to remember them.
Nevertheless, I am happy where I am now. The longer I stay here, the more that I am convinced that I am needed here. Working in the public sector is quite a challenge, not because of the task but because of the people around you. Perhaps, I'll allot a separate blog entry for the more inspiring story/stories.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Valentine Pledge
Today, I will commit to love and serve my
God unconditionally in every way.
I pledge myself to choose and love the
right, the good, the fair and the true.
I will be the light that will ignite a person’s
hope to help them cope.
I will be the strength to those who lose
their way to keep them back on track.
I will comfort and soothe those who are in
pain to restore their smiles.
I will treat everyone with respect, the
way I respect my loved ones.
I will learn how to apologize even if it
would mean swallowing my own pride.
I will intently evaluate every consequence
before I decide to make an action.
I will become a person who takes
responsibility over his actions.
I will also learn how to respect the
property of others.
I will value it the way I value my things.
I will listen and hear others
And I will never judge them because it is
the right thing to do.
I will love others and treat them with
kindness
Because after all, they are my brothers and
sisters in Christ.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Random Thought
Honestly, you don't have the obligation to explain to everyone where you are coming from because if they really care, they won't be pitching for questions. They won't doubt and judge you, because they KNOW you. They will be there to LISTEN because after all, that is all you need, someone who will LISTEN.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Christian Freedom Bible Church
Yesterday, Tim (the boyfriend) asked me if I could help his boss modify the final logo for a particular Church where his boss is the pastor. I was quite hesitant at first since I have never accepted any professional project relative to logo design. I mean, I know that I am not really an expert on that field, I know basic photoshop but the rest, it's all a mystery to me. A proof would be the consistent look of awe whenever I see collections of digital illustration that's really brought to life. Let's just say I'm still trying to master that craft.
But then again, because of LOVE, I said yes.
I was quite nervous while doing the logo because I know that I am making it for a Church. Imagine the pressure and the feeling of excitement, anticipating the outcome of the logo. I immediately submitted the first design to Tim but he made some suggestions which I gladly took note of :) (see, I'm obedient).
And now, may I present to you the final logo and stationery design of Christian Freedom Bible Church :)
What made it really overwhelming was the simple letter that I received from Mr. Cabrera, the pastor of the Church and also, Tim's boss, the one I was referring to earlier. It was a note that made me feel really appreciated. And although I have not given up my being Roman Catholic to Christianity, he was very comfortable addressing me as if I was a regular in their Church.
Note: I have been attending a Christian worship service since high school. There were a lot of times when I wanted to 'change my religion' but I cannot sacrifice my devotion for INA. I am spiritually happy attending the Christian service but there are practices in Roman Catholicism that I just cannot give up because I, myself, know and understand what these practices are for and I have personally experienced God through these practices.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
To the BEST COOK...
I met my Auntie Gie long before I even knew she existed. She was my Aunt Lina's (mom's eldest sister) best friend, her only best friend and I frequently saw her while I was growing up. She was a regular visitor in my lola's house and my mom would tell me that Aunt Gie would always tell her that Aunt Gie really feels uncomfortable passing by their house whenever she sees my mom at the window. Note to Reader: My mom really exudes this aura that people oftentimes interpret as something negative but the truth is, my mom is a very shy person.
When Aunt Lina left lola's house, she stayed with Aunt Gie. They transferred from one place to another and wherever they go, they bring their 'food business' with them. Both of them were hands-on with their business that they even ended up supplying meals for the employees of Graceland Bake House. I can remember my summer days when my brother and I used to take our vacation at my aunt's place and everyday, we get to have 3 to 4 viands with unlimited rice. The smell of the food would usually wake me up in the morning and make me crave for the day's meals. Yes, kuya and I would really gain a lot of pounds during our stay at their place.
Auntie Gie was really a good cook. My family would always tap her whenever we have special occasions or just a simple Sunday family gathering. She can really make the occasion memorable because of the food! What I even like about her is that despite the rigorous procedure that she has to do in every menu, she can manage to burst into a heartful laugh. I love her laugh! It's really infectious!
And for every family gathering, she was there, she was always there because she was part of our family.
Early this year, months before I decided to try my luck in Singapore, she was diagnosed with cancer. Stage 3 lung cancer. The doctors removed the water in her lungs and one of her doctors found a trace of scar in her x-ray result. She was supposed to undergo chemotherapy but she decided not to, she said her family needed the money more than her. There was no regular medication, medicines were only bought whenever there is enough money and she replaced the medicines with herbal drinks. Our family kept praying for her, that was the best thing that we can do.
From the moment that she was diagnosed with cancer, she eventually started losing weight. However, the 'infectious laugh' was still there. She could still afford making other people laugh despite the excruciating pain brought by her illness. When she started attending the Sunday service at Upper Room, I personally felt relieved. I knew it was a good sign, I thought that she was getting well but later on, I realized that it was her way to make us feel her presence. She struggled to attend the service every Sunday until she can no longer bring herself to church. Weeks, months and the echos of her infectious laugh was suddenly replaced by murmurs of pain.
Two weeks before she said goodbye, we visited her in their house at Dayangdang. She was very thin, she must have lost 40 pounds or more and the look on her face made me wish that she would still remember me.
During our 3 hour stay, she mostly remained quiet. It was really painful seeing her in that state. I cannot bear seeing her like that.
October 20, 2012, 6:30pm, Aunt Gie gave her last breath.
I will really miss you Auntie Gie. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for the delicious meals that you've cooked for us. Thank you for teaching me how to play Bingo. Thank you for treating me like a real niece. Thank you for coming to our family.
Repost from Herold Pelonio:
May the Angels lead her into Paradise.
May the Martyrs receive her at her coming
and take her to Jerusalem, the Holy City.
May the Choirs of the Angels receive her,
and may she, with the once poor Lazarus,
have rest everlasting. Amen.
When Aunt Lina left lola's house, she stayed with Aunt Gie. They transferred from one place to another and wherever they go, they bring their 'food business' with them. Both of them were hands-on with their business that they even ended up supplying meals for the employees of Graceland Bake House. I can remember my summer days when my brother and I used to take our vacation at my aunt's place and everyday, we get to have 3 to 4 viands with unlimited rice. The smell of the food would usually wake me up in the morning and make me crave for the day's meals. Yes, kuya and I would really gain a lot of pounds during our stay at their place.
Auntie Gie was really a good cook. My family would always tap her whenever we have special occasions or just a simple Sunday family gathering. She can really make the occasion memorable because of the food! What I even like about her is that despite the rigorous procedure that she has to do in every menu, she can manage to burst into a heartful laugh. I love her laugh! It's really infectious!
And for every family gathering, she was there, she was always there because she was part of our family.
Early this year, months before I decided to try my luck in Singapore, she was diagnosed with cancer. Stage 3 lung cancer. The doctors removed the water in her lungs and one of her doctors found a trace of scar in her x-ray result. She was supposed to undergo chemotherapy but she decided not to, she said her family needed the money more than her. There was no regular medication, medicines were only bought whenever there is enough money and she replaced the medicines with herbal drinks. Our family kept praying for her, that was the best thing that we can do.
From the moment that she was diagnosed with cancer, she eventually started losing weight. However, the 'infectious laugh' was still there. She could still afford making other people laugh despite the excruciating pain brought by her illness. When she started attending the Sunday service at Upper Room, I personally felt relieved. I knew it was a good sign, I thought that she was getting well but later on, I realized that it was her way to make us feel her presence. She struggled to attend the service every Sunday until she can no longer bring herself to church. Weeks, months and the echos of her infectious laugh was suddenly replaced by murmurs of pain.
Two weeks before she said goodbye, we visited her in their house at Dayangdang. She was very thin, she must have lost 40 pounds or more and the look on her face made me wish that she would still remember me.
During our 3 hour stay, she mostly remained quiet. It was really painful seeing her in that state. I cannot bear seeing her like that.
October 20, 2012, 6:30pm, Aunt Gie gave her last breath.
I will really miss you Auntie Gie. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for the delicious meals that you've cooked for us. Thank you for teaching me how to play Bingo. Thank you for treating me like a real niece. Thank you for coming to our family.
Repost from Herold Pelonio:
May the Angels lead her into Paradise.
May the Martyrs receive her at her coming
and take her to Jerusalem, the Holy City.
May the Choirs of the Angels receive her,
and may she, with the once poor Lazarus,
have rest everlasting. Amen.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Ring Finger
According to tradition in some countries (derived from Roman belief), the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, referred to as the vena amoris, was said to be directly connected to the heart, as a symbol of love.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Untold Story
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister. I would imagine my big sister helping me choose the right clothes, giving advice on zit outbursts and sharing her own experiences on how she got through a particular girl dilemma, dealing with boys!
I have always wondered how it would feel like having a sister. Mama, coming from a big family with 8 siblings, has 3 sisters while my papa has two younger sisters. I can imagine a regular 'make over session' where your sister paints your nails while you do her hair and a frequent fashion show where you'd get to wear her hand-me-down clothes. You'd be more lucky if you're elder, I think.
Nevertheless, there was also a sense of fascination when my friends would tell me that they would rather have a big brother instead, that I am so lucky because I have a 'kuya'. I would retort, 'having a sister is more fun, kuya doesn't play dolls', with a matching sad face. I was a kid then, who would have thought that an innocent fascination would turn out to be a real blessing.
My kuya is just a year older than me. He was born on April 9 and I was born on the 5th. I don't know how my parents did it but they must have a purpose why we were born on the same month. Since we are just one year apart by birth, I get to have the same age as his for 4 days. My consistent mischief would be calling him by his first name, besides, we are of the same age right? But I could only do that on the first day, maybe because it was more than getting used to calling him 'kuya' for 361 days but he deserves the respect of the title 'kuya'.
My brother has always been my 'protector'. I remembered the time when we were just little kids and we were used to playing in our neighbors' house. There was this one time when I was bitten by our neighbor's dog, kuya immediately grabbed me and all the way to our house, his small hands were encircling my 'fat' thigh just so the rabies won't go up to my heart :( He was pushing me to go on, to keep on walking until we reach our house so that lola could put something on the wound.
There was also one incident when he had to get some coins at our school's fish pond (it was thought to be a wishing pond) just so he could buy me a fishball. He got the coins while I was on the lookout, trying to avoid our ever strict school guard 'Guard Edwin'. I was so hungry that time and we had no money left on our pockets. We were waiting for someone to fetch us and my kuya tried to find a way to feed us both.
I was a crybaby and he was always there to make things seem okay. As long as I have my brother, everything felt right, I feel like nothing bad will happen to me. However, a protector would also have a time of weakness. I remembered crying when I learned that my brother broke his right arm while he was playing at school. It was my Chinese teacher who told me that my brother got into an accident and I rushed to the room where he was but instead of being strong, I fled because I could not bear seeing him like that. I cried and cried until the second period. What was worst was that I could not see my brother in the hospital until his x-ray is done. I ended up calling in sick the following day just to sit beside him all day, watching cartoons.
Don't get me wrong but we would also quarrel. He would squeeze my hands until it makes me cry and when we were getting old, whenever I did something wrong, he would not talk to me for weeks! Even if I tried to win his apology by doing the chores, he would treat me as if I was not physically there. Yes, I am scared of my kuya and I hate it when he gets mad at me.
Now.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister but having a big brother is way better. I may not share my clothes with him, won't have make-up and make-over sessions but having someone who will stand by you and encourage you to go on even if the whole world doesn't feel like going with your plans, it's more than to be thankful for. My kuya and I don't regularly talk but when we talk, it's worth the days and weeks that we're not communicating. Even if he would often call me 'spoiled brat', he would always see to it that I get what I want, from my goals to my 'wants' (thanks again for the DSLR kuya!) even it means that he has to sacrifice, that he has to work harder.
Now.
I do not know if I could still make it here in Singapore knowing that I only have 3 weeks left to find a job. Nevertheless, should I not be destined to be here, I'd be more than happy to go back. I am more excited to see my brother and share the space with him. I am excited to clean our house, to cook meals for him and to do the groceries, just like the old times.
Even if I failed here in Singapore, I have a bigger blessing that I am looking forward to when I get home :)
I have always wondered how it would feel like having a sister. Mama, coming from a big family with 8 siblings, has 3 sisters while my papa has two younger sisters. I can imagine a regular 'make over session' where your sister paints your nails while you do her hair and a frequent fashion show where you'd get to wear her hand-me-down clothes. You'd be more lucky if you're elder, I think.
Nevertheless, there was also a sense of fascination when my friends would tell me that they would rather have a big brother instead, that I am so lucky because I have a 'kuya'. I would retort, 'having a sister is more fun, kuya doesn't play dolls', with a matching sad face. I was a kid then, who would have thought that an innocent fascination would turn out to be a real blessing.
My kuya is just a year older than me. He was born on April 9 and I was born on the 5th. I don't know how my parents did it but they must have a purpose why we were born on the same month. Since we are just one year apart by birth, I get to have the same age as his for 4 days. My consistent mischief would be calling him by his first name, besides, we are of the same age right? But I could only do that on the first day, maybe because it was more than getting used to calling him 'kuya' for 361 days but he deserves the respect of the title 'kuya'.
My brother has always been my 'protector'. I remembered the time when we were just little kids and we were used to playing in our neighbors' house. There was this one time when I was bitten by our neighbor's dog, kuya immediately grabbed me and all the way to our house, his small hands were encircling my 'fat' thigh just so the rabies won't go up to my heart :( He was pushing me to go on, to keep on walking until we reach our house so that lola could put something on the wound.
There was also one incident when he had to get some coins at our school's fish pond (it was thought to be a wishing pond) just so he could buy me a fishball. He got the coins while I was on the lookout, trying to avoid our ever strict school guard 'Guard Edwin'. I was so hungry that time and we had no money left on our pockets. We were waiting for someone to fetch us and my kuya tried to find a way to feed us both.
I was a crybaby and he was always there to make things seem okay. As long as I have my brother, everything felt right, I feel like nothing bad will happen to me. However, a protector would also have a time of weakness. I remembered crying when I learned that my brother broke his right arm while he was playing at school. It was my Chinese teacher who told me that my brother got into an accident and I rushed to the room where he was but instead of being strong, I fled because I could not bear seeing him like that. I cried and cried until the second period. What was worst was that I could not see my brother in the hospital until his x-ray is done. I ended up calling in sick the following day just to sit beside him all day, watching cartoons.
Don't get me wrong but we would also quarrel. He would squeeze my hands until it makes me cry and when we were getting old, whenever I did something wrong, he would not talk to me for weeks! Even if I tried to win his apology by doing the chores, he would treat me as if I was not physically there. Yes, I am scared of my kuya and I hate it when he gets mad at me.
Now.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister but having a big brother is way better. I may not share my clothes with him, won't have make-up and make-over sessions but having someone who will stand by you and encourage you to go on even if the whole world doesn't feel like going with your plans, it's more than to be thankful for. My kuya and I don't regularly talk but when we talk, it's worth the days and weeks that we're not communicating. Even if he would often call me 'spoiled brat', he would always see to it that I get what I want, from my goals to my 'wants' (thanks again for the DSLR kuya!) even it means that he has to sacrifice, that he has to work harder.
Now.
I do not know if I could still make it here in Singapore knowing that I only have 3 weeks left to find a job. Nevertheless, should I not be destined to be here, I'd be more than happy to go back. I am more excited to see my brother and share the space with him. I am excited to clean our house, to cook meals for him and to do the groceries, just like the old times.
Even if I failed here in Singapore, I have a bigger blessing that I am looking forward to when I get home :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Surviving the 28th year
Yesterday, June 25, 2012, my parents celebrated their 28th Wedding Anniversary. I know it is a special day but I don't recall any form of celebration to commemorate that extraordinary day. Ever since I was a kid, it seemed like a very ordinary day for me and my brother. I guess the overflowing beer and the 'til dawn' karaoke would speak of the 'special celebration' because it is also on the same day that my grandmother (papa's mama) was born.
I would often remember my mom saying to my papa 'Oh, ma anniversary na naman kita, mairinuman na naman kamo' (We're going to have our anniversary soon, you're going to get drunk again). Perhaps it was my papa's family's definition of celebration, getting drunk until the wee hours of morning and the guests would just start to leave as soon as my grandmother would start acting 'differently'. Yes, I am never proud of this circumstance. I feel like hiding myself in the house, pretending that I can't hear what our neighbors are saying the following morning.
28 years of marriage. I have been a witness of how sweet and how painful these 28 years are. My family is not perfect, just as everybody thought that I lived in a stress-free home. I grew up in a verbally violent house. There was even a time when I would hear my parents arguing in the morning and it's as if there was a pause button when I was at school, just in time when I get home, the play button will suddenly turn on. Eventually, these heated arguments came to the point in which my mom decided for us to leave my papa. We stayed with my mom's mother for a year or two. Honestly, it was a relief for both me and my brother to be kept away from an environment where you can't even recognize your own father. I thought it was the end of their marriage. The arguments were worst than our financial concerns, I felt like it was really the end.
Yet, God made a way. I personally think that if these bad experiences did not happen, I would not be as close to God as I am now. I don't want to sound too religious but yes, the Christian community helped us 'build' our 'house' again. Since then, our family has been attending Christian service every Sunday because if it was not for God, my family might not be complete today.
My father started to get involved in the praise and worship team. Mama became a regular volunteer for the flower arrangement group. I, myself, would also volunteer to sing during the offertory whenever my schedule permits me to.
Personally, I think that keeping a marriage for 28 years is not easy. Some would give up as early as the first year. I still believe that in a relationship, as long as one person decides to hold on, the relationship will survive. In our case, it was my mom who decided not to let go despite of everything bad that has happened. I really admire my mom for being so tough, despite her petite size, she can instantly transform into a tiger. My brother and I are even afraid of her more than our father.
For the blissful 28 years, I thank the Lord for keeping my family together. I thank the Lord for making my mama strong. I thank the Lord for never giving up on my father. I thank the Lord for the renewed souls, for the understanding heart and for another blissful wedding anniversary for my parents :)
I would often remember my mom saying to my papa 'Oh, ma anniversary na naman kita, mairinuman na naman kamo' (We're going to have our anniversary soon, you're going to get drunk again). Perhaps it was my papa's family's definition of celebration, getting drunk until the wee hours of morning and the guests would just start to leave as soon as my grandmother would start acting 'differently'. Yes, I am never proud of this circumstance. I feel like hiding myself in the house, pretending that I can't hear what our neighbors are saying the following morning.
28 years of marriage. I have been a witness of how sweet and how painful these 28 years are. My family is not perfect, just as everybody thought that I lived in a stress-free home. I grew up in a verbally violent house. There was even a time when I would hear my parents arguing in the morning and it's as if there was a pause button when I was at school, just in time when I get home, the play button will suddenly turn on. Eventually, these heated arguments came to the point in which my mom decided for us to leave my papa. We stayed with my mom's mother for a year or two. Honestly, it was a relief for both me and my brother to be kept away from an environment where you can't even recognize your own father. I thought it was the end of their marriage. The arguments were worst than our financial concerns, I felt like it was really the end.
Yet, God made a way. I personally think that if these bad experiences did not happen, I would not be as close to God as I am now. I don't want to sound too religious but yes, the Christian community helped us 'build' our 'house' again. Since then, our family has been attending Christian service every Sunday because if it was not for God, my family might not be complete today.
My father started to get involved in the praise and worship team. Mama became a regular volunteer for the flower arrangement group. I, myself, would also volunteer to sing during the offertory whenever my schedule permits me to.
Personally, I think that keeping a marriage for 28 years is not easy. Some would give up as early as the first year. I still believe that in a relationship, as long as one person decides to hold on, the relationship will survive. In our case, it was my mom who decided not to let go despite of everything bad that has happened. I really admire my mom for being so tough, despite her petite size, she can instantly transform into a tiger. My brother and I are even afraid of her more than our father.
For the blissful 28 years, I thank the Lord for keeping my family together. I thank the Lord for making my mama strong. I thank the Lord for never giving up on my father. I thank the Lord for the renewed souls, for the understanding heart and for another blissful wedding anniversary for my parents :)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Bucket List
Earlier today, I was trying to recall where I wrote my original bucket list. I am not sure if I was brave enough to share it to my pseudo-readers (if I have any at all) or I just tried to keep it to myself then will just blog about the experience once I crossed out the particular item in my bucket list. Hmm.. I think I would prefer the former :)
To give you a short background, the so called bucket list started with the movie with the same title. It was shown in 2007 which starred Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Freeman was a mechanic while Nicholson was a billionaire who also owned the hospital where they are both confined at. They both had lung cancer and eventually they became friends while they were undergoing the treatment. It was Freeman who started writing the 'things that he wanted to do before he dies' while Carter, while learning about Freeman's plans, offered to finance his 'trips'.
I came across the story because of Kuya Egz. Kuya Egz, whom I fondly call 'Gier', is one of the best people in the university whom you can consult about music and movies. When I say consult, it's like if you're looking for a music for a particular formation session, music that has meaning, then he is the 'guy'. As for movies, he may have seen almost all the tear-jerker movies of every decade and he can easily recommend what is best, let's say for a particular session or if you are simply looking for a quality movie that you can watch over the weekend. Yes, he is the king of soundtrack and films.
Back to my bucket list. I tried to remember the things that I originally wrote and perhaps I will be adding more in the near future. What's important is that I was able to document my bucket list this time. So, here goes.
Tintin's Bucket List
1. Learn how to swim (I partly know how to swim now, am just trying to practice the intervals in breathing and the hand stroke during for a freestyle)
2. Travel to one foreign place every year (I did this for the last two years and this year was my first international trip)
3. Be employed in a foreign country (*fingers crossed*)
4. Get married at the age of 26 (Maybe I could make it 27, in case)
5. Learn how to play the guitar (Still thinking when I could do this)
6. Learn how to drive (When? Soon?)
7. Name my daughter Sophia Danielle
8. Have at least 3 dogs in my OWN house
9. Talk to a random stranger and offer him/her a ride home
10. Learn how to cook
11. Have my own website
12. Sing infront of 1,000 people
13. Give my mom her dream shop - her own flower shop
14. Admit to one person that I was crushing on him
15. Learn one foreign language
16. Learn how to surf
To give you a short background, the so called bucket list started with the movie with the same title. It was shown in 2007 which starred Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Freeman was a mechanic while Nicholson was a billionaire who also owned the hospital where they are both confined at. They both had lung cancer and eventually they became friends while they were undergoing the treatment. It was Freeman who started writing the 'things that he wanted to do before he dies' while Carter, while learning about Freeman's plans, offered to finance his 'trips'.
I came across the story because of Kuya Egz. Kuya Egz, whom I fondly call 'Gier', is one of the best people in the university whom you can consult about music and movies. When I say consult, it's like if you're looking for a music for a particular formation session, music that has meaning, then he is the 'guy'. As for movies, he may have seen almost all the tear-jerker movies of every decade and he can easily recommend what is best, let's say for a particular session or if you are simply looking for a quality movie that you can watch over the weekend. Yes, he is the king of soundtrack and films.
Back to my bucket list. I tried to remember the things that I originally wrote and perhaps I will be adding more in the near future. What's important is that I was able to document my bucket list this time. So, here goes.
Tintin's Bucket List
1. Learn how to swim (I partly know how to swim now, am just trying to practice the intervals in breathing and the hand stroke during for a freestyle)
2. Travel to one foreign place every year (I did this for the last two years and this year was my first international trip)
3. Be employed in a foreign country (*fingers crossed*)
4. Get married at the age of 26 (Maybe I could make it 27, in case)
5. Learn how to play the guitar (Still thinking when I could do this)
6. Learn how to drive (When? Soon?)
7. Name my daughter Sophia Danielle
8. Have at least 3 dogs in my OWN house
9. Talk to a random stranger and offer him/her a ride home
10. Learn how to cook
11. Have my own website
12. Sing infront of 1,000 people
13. Give my mom her dream shop - her own flower shop
14. Admit to one person that I was crushing on him
15. Learn one foreign language
16. Learn how to surf
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Courage
Funny how I suddenly remembered ‘Courage, the
Cowardly Dog’, a cartoon series on Cartoon Network, while I was trying to look
for a good title for my blog. I am not good with taglines nor coming up with
creative names or titles for any event. Maybe creativity is not part of my
system, maybe not yet or perhaps I am creative, it’s just that I can express it
in a different outlet.
Courage. My personal definition of courage
is simple; it is an intrinsic drive that can surmount any fear. I think all of
us are afraid of something. It could be fear of insects, events or
circumstances or simply fear towards another person. In my case, I have always
been afraid of spiders and the water.
Fear of water. Don’t get me wrong here, I
meant that I am afraid to drown that is why whenever our family would go out
for a swim, I would usually enjoy the part where we would savor the flavorful
scent of the food and let our taste buds complete the craving. I love being in
the water but since all I do is to submerge myself in the pool eventually,
I would end up shivering because I am literally doing nothing. I even
remembered when my brother and I were still young, I dared him for a water
race. I pretended that I was swimming but the truth was, my feet were guiding
me in the sands while I was trying to move my arms as if I was doing the usual
arm movement of a swimmer. He eventually realized that I was cheating.
I honestly cannot recall where my fear of
water came about. What I know is that it was a struggle for me to trust my life
to the water. I enjoyed going to the beach or the pool but it would have been
more meaningful if I knew how to swim. Then alas! Another pool gathering was on
the way. It was the annual Ateneo Personnel Club’s rest and recreation. It was
an event that everyone was looking forward to. This year, the officers agreed
to extend the invitation to the family members, I decided to invite Tim.
May 12, 2012. A day that I can never forget.
It was the day when I gathered all my courage to try again to learn how to
swim. Tim has been teaching me for a while now but I seem too hard-headed to
listen to him. ‘I will drown’ was always my mindset whenever I tried to do the
most basic in swimming, to float. I did not know what came across my mind that
night but I said to myself ‘it’s either I learn now or I will never enjoy the
water’. Drowning was no longer an option.
I tried to relax, inhaled all the air that
my lungs can accommodate and suddenly I found myself floating, with my eyes
open and appreciating the luminescence of the stars. I did it! I conquered my
fear! I never knew it felt this good. I never imagined that I could stay in the
pool until 2:00 in the morning without getting bored. I never knew that I could
also do the breathing techniques. I never knew all these things if I did not
try. Finally, I can partly cross out ‘Learn how to swim’ in my bucket list.
Yes, partly because I intend to practice more. Hopefully, I could do the same
with my fear of spiders but it will be a process, a long process.
Trying and risking. These are one of the few
things that I learned in life. One will never know if they will not try, if
they will not risk. I did these a number of times, particularly in my career.
Just like now, I risked my job to try my luck in a foreign land. I am bound for
Singapore on May 19, 2012, it will be a new chapter that will be unfolded with
God’s grace. I remembered one of my aunt asking while we were having the usual
family breakfast after the church service if I was nervous. I said no, I knew
in my heart that this is what I wanted. I knew in my heart that it is what God
also desired for me. I knew these because I prayed for it and God gave me the
signs that I needed. I am not afraid because I know HE will be with me. What
would you fear if you have God beside you right?
Perhaps this is the reason why I am never
afraid to risk. I am never afraid to let go, because I know that HE has greater
plans for me. I don’t know but everything will REALLY fall into place if you
pray for it. To be honest, leaving the country was already my plan 3 years ago
and it took a while before God gave me the sign that I am ready to go. I think
He prepared me for it, He prepared my family for it and most importantly, He
prepared me spiritually. It really took a lot of patience on my part to wait. I
am not fond of ‘patience’ but He taught me the true meaning of patience, it is
leaving all your worries to Him and just let Him work. After all, there are a
lot of circumstances which are out of our control.
Maybe, just maybe, I have found a new
definition of courage. It is trusting God to work in your life because He knows
what is best for you.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
A Boys Scout's Lesson
I recently became sick and it was that worse that I thought I would stay in the hospital for a couple of days but when the doctor gave me that 'shot' through direct IV, I somehow felt a little better and decided to just stay home instead. I never told any of my relatives because I don't really want them to worry. I know that I'd be fine but one of my favorite uncle (my mom's brother) suddenly sent me a text message which was really sweet. It was something that he learned when he was a member of the boy scouts.
'Thank God. Nice to hear that. One thing I learned about duties when I joined the boy scouts during my elementary years: duty to self, duty to others, duty to country, duty to God. Duty to self is intrinsic. After all self-preservation is the first law of nature. But for people who have been raised to look after the welfare of others - like you - sometimes the self is relegated. Take care of yourself always. We are more effective influence to others when we are in good health. God bless.' (Sent last April 29, 2012, 7:59am)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
University Dress Up Day : Dorm Style
Our FIRST University Dress Up Day with the Xavier HONORS' Dormers :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Stories of Love
I am celebrating Valentine's Day today in a very special way. One, because this is the second Valentine's celebration of LIGAYA (I can't remember where we went last year though). Second, I am celebrating this with 24 girls. Third, am technically under a 'new' office. Fourth, we went to places which were not here last year, Florespina's and Starbucks (I hope am right).
The night before Hearts day, I got a sweet card from one of my kids. Then Pepits gave us chocolates during lunch (with personalized quotes from AUTHOR UNKNOWN). Later in the evening, I met with my parents and Tim and we had dinner at Florespina's. Papa was suggesting to have our dinner at Mang Inasal but I had to insist that we go to Florespina's. Good thing, there were available tables when we got there. Papa and Mama had Pork Adobo for dinner while Tim and I had Korean Beefstew (it was a little bit spicy :P). After dinner, Tim and I went to his former computer shop to visit my aunt and we went to straight to his office afterwards. I enjoyed walking from centro to his office, I think I burned enough calories. Florespina's serving are really enormous for my petite tummy, so we really needed that walk !
After Tim's office, we already proceeded to Magsaysay to meet-up with LIGAYA. We stayed at Starbucks for about one to two hours, I guess. Ate Jing, Pepit's sister, joined us while waiting for her Mark. An acoustic group serenaded the customers while giving out free coffee to everyone. I think the first coffee was Verona and the other was Vanilla Latte. We saw common faces there, Mike, Tim's cousin, also dropped by Starbucks to say hi. At around 10:30pm, I decided to go home because my left eye is irritated again. When I entered the room, I saw some notes from the dormers, I felt appreciated.
The notes were all hand-made. One can really see how much effort was given to every intricate detail in the note. But what really touched my heart was the messages in the note. It really uplifted my spirit, I felt happy that someone can empathize and be as sensitive as that. Really, this is one of the best hearts day celebration for me. I mean, the effort to do the card, the money that they have to save for how many days or weeks which means sacrificing meals perhaps and the act of remembering me, even if I am not their real mother.
This day was also special because our prayers for a particular dormer has been answered. He passed the subject. He can continue being an honors' dormer. He can stay in the dorm.
There are so many things that I am thankful for for today. Thank you, Lord. I really wish that we will continue to be kind and to love others even if it is no longer Valentine's Day. So that everyday, we can add to the random stories of love :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Good Old Fellow
Ever since I was a kid, my family has always been fond of dogs. I literally grew up admiring them, with how they respond to my uncle’s soft touches at the bottom of their jaw, how they would either sit still or would run around the house when they are bathed and how they can feel if you’re having a bad day and suddenly, you’d just find them sitting beside, as if they’re sharing your pain.
I have seen a number of dogs in our house. I saw them grew from puppies to big bullies and I can clearly remember how each of them were taken away from us. But this time, it’s quite different. From all the dogs that we had, this dog was really special. I knew right from the moment that I saw her, she is one dog that will change our lives forever.
It was 6:30am, Saturday, October 29, 2005 when I heard a tiny barking sound at the house. I knew that I was not dreaming, it had to be real, it has to be a puppy. We were expecting Papa to arrive that day, he came all the way from Laguna to bring mamaold to the airport who was bound for London then. When I heard the sound again, I immediately rose from bed and went downstairs. When I reached the stairs, a tiny puppy was staring at me, she was sitting at the center of our sala and was barking hard at me. I said to the puppy “Aba, ang tapang tapang mo ah, ang liit liit mo lang ah” and as if she understood me, she barked even loudly. I called my mom and asked where the puppy came from, she said papa brought it home from Laguna. The puppy was placed in a box with a tiny hole while they were traveling from Laguna to Bicol and mama mentioned that papa didn’t get enough sleep because he has to check on the puppy from time to time. From that day on, our lives changed.
My family decided to call her ‘Bunso’ but mamaold suggested to call her ‘Spotty’ because of her tiny black spot on the back. Spotty was not an ordinary dog. There was days when she would amaze the entire family. There was one instance when it was raining hard and her abode was already transferred to mamaold’s place when in the middle of night, I heard a puppy crying outside. I had to call my mom to let her listen to the sound, I was convincing her that it was Spotty. My mama was trying to explain to me that it would be too impossible for Spotty to reach the door because it would be too dark for her to find her way to our house and she can’t possibly recall how to get to our house. When the crying didn’t stop, I had to open the door to see what’s making the sound and there, I saw her, dripping and chilling under the cold rain. I immediately embraced her and dried her fur and we decided to let her stay in the house overnight.
For 7 years, Spotty never failed to amaze us. She’s not the rowdy type of dog, she’s more poised and smart. Whenever we would spend Christmas and New Year together, Spotty would always have a special spot at the house where she can watch TV and eat at the same time. Spotty knows how to behave inside the house. Whenever papa would bathe her, she would always go to each of our rooms to check if everyone is there. She would sniff the bedsheets, the computer chairs and would even put her paws in mama’s lap whenever she’s too busy with her uniform deadlines to notice her.
Up until this time, I could not believe that she’s gone. She passed away this morning, pregnant. Mama said she was not able to endure the pain during birth labor that’s why she died. We did not expect that. We were too excited for her, for her babies, for a bigger puppy family.
I could not believe that she was suddenly taken away from us. I know that for some this might be crazy but we really treated her as part of the family. The dog became part of us. We will definitely miss her. Her kaartehan with food, her sweetness and the joy she brings us everytime. By the way, she loves Asado Pandesal from Graceland, she never eats leftovers, she’s given Tiki-tiki for her vitamins and cheese-flavored crackers for her snacks.
Maybe, if there is a puppy heaven, I think she’s up there looking down at us, still trying to protect. She has been a good dog. She has never hurt anyone. She was our source of happiness especially to my parents. Nevertheless, I am glad. I’m glad that God gave us a dog like her because if not for her, our family would not be this close. Thank you, Spotty. I will miss you old fellow… a lot.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Happy Long Weekend
Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to spend time with my family ;)
Thank you too for the shrimp ;)
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