Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister. I would imagine my big sister helping me choose the right clothes, giving advice on zit outbursts and sharing her own experiences on how she got through a particular girl dilemma, dealing with boys!
I have always wondered how it would feel like having a sister. Mama, coming from a big family with 8 siblings, has 3 sisters while my papa has two younger sisters. I can imagine a regular 'make over session' where your sister paints your nails while you do her hair and a frequent fashion show where you'd get to wear her hand-me-down clothes. You'd be more lucky if you're elder, I think.
Nevertheless, there was also a sense of fascination when my friends would tell me that they would rather have a big brother instead, that I am so lucky because I have a 'kuya'. I would retort, 'having a sister is more fun, kuya doesn't play dolls', with a matching sad face. I was a kid then, who would have thought that an innocent fascination would turn out to be a real blessing.
My kuya is just a year older than me. He was born on April 9 and I was born on the 5th. I don't know how my parents did it but they must have a purpose why we were born on the same month. Since we are just one year apart by birth, I get to have the same age as his for 4 days. My consistent mischief would be calling him by his first name, besides, we are of the same age right? But I could only do that on the first day, maybe because it was more than getting used to calling him 'kuya' for 361 days but he deserves the respect of the title 'kuya'.
My brother has always been my 'protector'. I remembered the time when we were just little kids and we were used to playing in our neighbors' house. There was this one time when I was bitten by our neighbor's dog, kuya immediately grabbed me and all the way to our house, his small hands were encircling my 'fat' thigh just so the rabies won't go up to my heart :( He was pushing me to go on, to keep on walking until we reach our house so that lola could put something on the wound.
There was also one incident when he had to get some coins at our school's fish pond (it was thought to be a wishing pond) just so he could buy me a fishball. He got the coins while I was on the lookout, trying to avoid our ever strict school guard 'Guard Edwin'. I was so hungry that time and we had no money left on our pockets. We were waiting for someone to fetch us and my kuya tried to find a way to feed us both.
I was a crybaby and he was always there to make things seem okay. As long as I have my brother, everything felt right, I feel like nothing bad will happen to me. However, a protector would also have a time of weakness. I remembered crying when I learned that my brother broke his right arm while he was playing at school. It was my Chinese teacher who told me that my brother got into an accident and I rushed to the room where he was but instead of being strong, I fled because I could not bear seeing him like that. I cried and cried until the second period. What was worst was that I could not see my brother in the hospital until his x-ray is done. I ended up calling in sick the following day just to sit beside him all day, watching cartoons.
Don't get me wrong but we would also quarrel. He would squeeze my hands until it makes me cry and when we were getting old, whenever I did something wrong, he would not talk to me for weeks! Even if I tried to win his apology by doing the chores, he would treat me as if I was not physically there. Yes, I am scared of my kuya and I hate it when he gets mad at me.
Now.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister but having a big brother is way better. I may not share my clothes with him, won't have make-up and make-over sessions but having someone who will stand by you and encourage you to go on even if the whole world doesn't feel like going with your plans, it's more than to be thankful for. My kuya and I don't regularly talk but when we talk, it's worth the days and weeks that we're not communicating. Even if he would often call me 'spoiled brat', he would always see to it that I get what I want, from my goals to my 'wants' (thanks again for the DSLR kuya!) even it means that he has to sacrifice, that he has to work harder.
Now.
I do not know if I could still make it here in Singapore knowing that I only have 3 weeks left to find a job. Nevertheless, should I not be destined to be here, I'd be more than happy to go back. I am more excited to see my brother and share the space with him. I am excited to clean our house, to cook meals for him and to do the groceries, just like the old times.
Even if I failed here in Singapore, I have a bigger blessing that I am looking forward to when I get home :)
I have always wondered how it would feel like having a sister. Mama, coming from a big family with 8 siblings, has 3 sisters while my papa has two younger sisters. I can imagine a regular 'make over session' where your sister paints your nails while you do her hair and a frequent fashion show where you'd get to wear her hand-me-down clothes. You'd be more lucky if you're elder, I think.
Nevertheless, there was also a sense of fascination when my friends would tell me that they would rather have a big brother instead, that I am so lucky because I have a 'kuya'. I would retort, 'having a sister is more fun, kuya doesn't play dolls', with a matching sad face. I was a kid then, who would have thought that an innocent fascination would turn out to be a real blessing.
My kuya is just a year older than me. He was born on April 9 and I was born on the 5th. I don't know how my parents did it but they must have a purpose why we were born on the same month. Since we are just one year apart by birth, I get to have the same age as his for 4 days. My consistent mischief would be calling him by his first name, besides, we are of the same age right? But I could only do that on the first day, maybe because it was more than getting used to calling him 'kuya' for 361 days but he deserves the respect of the title 'kuya'.
My brother has always been my 'protector'. I remembered the time when we were just little kids and we were used to playing in our neighbors' house. There was this one time when I was bitten by our neighbor's dog, kuya immediately grabbed me and all the way to our house, his small hands were encircling my 'fat' thigh just so the rabies won't go up to my heart :( He was pushing me to go on, to keep on walking until we reach our house so that lola could put something on the wound.
There was also one incident when he had to get some coins at our school's fish pond (it was thought to be a wishing pond) just so he could buy me a fishball. He got the coins while I was on the lookout, trying to avoid our ever strict school guard 'Guard Edwin'. I was so hungry that time and we had no money left on our pockets. We were waiting for someone to fetch us and my kuya tried to find a way to feed us both.
I was a crybaby and he was always there to make things seem okay. As long as I have my brother, everything felt right, I feel like nothing bad will happen to me. However, a protector would also have a time of weakness. I remembered crying when I learned that my brother broke his right arm while he was playing at school. It was my Chinese teacher who told me that my brother got into an accident and I rushed to the room where he was but instead of being strong, I fled because I could not bear seeing him like that. I cried and cried until the second period. What was worst was that I could not see my brother in the hospital until his x-ray is done. I ended up calling in sick the following day just to sit beside him all day, watching cartoons.
Don't get me wrong but we would also quarrel. He would squeeze my hands until it makes me cry and when we were getting old, whenever I did something wrong, he would not talk to me for weeks! Even if I tried to win his apology by doing the chores, he would treat me as if I was not physically there. Yes, I am scared of my kuya and I hate it when he gets mad at me.
Now.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister but having a big brother is way better. I may not share my clothes with him, won't have make-up and make-over sessions but having someone who will stand by you and encourage you to go on even if the whole world doesn't feel like going with your plans, it's more than to be thankful for. My kuya and I don't regularly talk but when we talk, it's worth the days and weeks that we're not communicating. Even if he would often call me 'spoiled brat', he would always see to it that I get what I want, from my goals to my 'wants' (thanks again for the DSLR kuya!) even it means that he has to sacrifice, that he has to work harder.
Now.
I do not know if I could still make it here in Singapore knowing that I only have 3 weeks left to find a job. Nevertheless, should I not be destined to be here, I'd be more than happy to go back. I am more excited to see my brother and share the space with him. I am excited to clean our house, to cook meals for him and to do the groceries, just like the old times.
Even if I failed here in Singapore, I have a bigger blessing that I am looking forward to when I get home :)
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