Buhay Gobyerno.

I officially became part of the government when I started working way back in 2007. My participation was the usual remittance of 10-15% of my monthly salary which was forwarded to our government in different forms and in different agencies. It was the time when I came to know who BIR, SSS, Pag-ibig and Philhealth are. It was also in the same circumstance when I gradually accepted that they will STICK with me forever.

Since my starting salary was quite low compared to my batch mates who were working in Manila, I did not really complain on the monthly deductions. I did not really mind how much they were deducting as long as I have enough money to spend whenever my friends and I would dine out or have the usual get together. That was until I started to work in Ateneo.

I was blessed to have a faculty-ranked position when I applied in Ateneo in October 2008. It was a position under one of the busiest or should I say the busiest office in Ateneo. The salary was really beyond my needs, it even supported my ‘frequent wants'. However, that was also the same year when I started to become more aware of my hard-earned money.

I began to question, where does my money go? How come that they are deducting this much? I slowly began to imagine bundles of thousands coming from the monthly obligation of all workers, not to mention the taxes from big companies, multinational companies.

And it all stopped there.

Not until I became part of the work force of the government.

I was hired as Guidance Counselor of the Department of Education, Camarines Sur Division last November 21, 2012. I was assigned at Pamukid National High School, San Fernando, Camarines Sur instead of Pili National High School, my supposedly first work assignment. I have to wake-up at 5:30am everyday and be ready by 6:15am for my 30-40 minute travel. I have to admit that the daily transport is quite tedious on my part considering that my body is not used to long travels.

When I first learned about my appointment in DepEd, I immediately informed my relatives particularly my aunts who were also working in the government. They were both happy and apprehensive. Apprehensive because they know how the system in the government works: the 'usual procedure' and the existing 'protocol'. They basically gave me tips for survival.

Being me, I reported on my first day with excitement. I usually have this kind of disposition whenever there is something new in my routine. My first jeepney ride was quite a thrill, I didn't know where I should say 'para po', how much I should pay and worst, I don't know where Pamukid is in San Fernando. Good thing jeepneys have 'konduktor', they are for me a 'mobile tour guide'.

Finding Pamukid National High School is not that hard, you can easily see the big signage beside the road.  However, you would still need to take a few steps before you reach the gates of the school. Our school houses around 990 students with 35 personnel, 29 teaching and 6 non-teaching personnel.

The moment I entered the campus, I felt awkward. Perhaps because I was overdressed that time. I was wearing my black slacks and a semi-formal top. I wanted to make a good impression to my future boss and I remembered that 'power dressing' is an important factor if you want to make an impression, a good one :) Nevertheless, I continued to dress in the same manner even until now, because if I don't, the students might mistaken me as their classmate.

The days turned to weeks and months. By February 21, I'd be celebrating my third month here in our institution. However, it feels like I've been working here for ages and with my short stay, I was able to note a few things that I should always keep in mind.

1. Our work schedule is from 7:30am until 4:30pm. However, based on my observation, in the morning, some people tend to stretch the 7:30am call time to 7:45am or worse until 8:00am. BUT during dismissal, everyone seems to be in a hurry. 4:30 is 4:30. No extensions if possible. Yes, working overtime is a mortal sin not unless there is a school occasion.
2. Not everyone is given a 'blessing'. If you receive one, better keep it to yourself.
3. Almost all teachers would complain about how low their salary is, to think that their daily rate is way higher than the regular daily rate. I came to understand the reason behind after I saw how impulsive they are whenever there are sales representative visiting our campus. If one teacher bought an item, they must buy as well. Talk about competition.
4. Noise pollution is not new in public schools. It's either you go with it or you just bear the noise that's cracking the walls of your office. Perhaps this is the reason of my frequent migraine attacks.
5. It's really rare for teachers to keep their mouth shut and it's quite impossible for them to speak in low voices except during meetings.
6. When you're preparing meals or snacks for a visitor, always include the total number of employees in your school. It's a habit I think and again, I think this is the reason why some schools have depleting MOOE fund.
7. Always know where you stand. Some practices in the government would really test you and your values. Just stick to your values because you can never go wrong if your principles are clear.
8. Know when to 'read between the lines'. Some people would use sarcasm either as a form of joke or to indirectly tell you how they feel towards you. Be sensitive. Know when to smile and know when to reason out. Timing is very important.
9. Find someone who shares the same work value as you do. This will really help a lot particularly in coping with your working environment.

These only comprises a portion of my mental notes. I will try to add more as I try to remember them.

Nevertheless, I am happy where I am now. The longer I stay here, the more that I am convinced that I am needed here. Working in the public sector is quite a challenge, not because of the task but because of the people around you. Perhaps, I'll allot a separate blog entry for the more inspiring story/stories.

Valentine Pledge

Today, I will commit to love and serve my God unconditionally in every way.

I pledge myself to choose and love the right, the good, the fair and the true.

I will be the light that will ignite a person’s hope to help them cope.

I will be the strength to those who lose their way to keep them back on track.

I will comfort and soothe those who are in pain to restore their smiles.

I will treat everyone with respect, the way I respect my loved ones.

I will learn how to apologize even if it would mean swallowing my own pride.

I will intently evaluate every consequence before I decide to make an action.

I will become a person who takes responsibility over his actions.

I will also learn how to respect the property of others.

I will value it the way I value my things.

I will listen and hear others

And I will never judge them because it is the right thing to do.

I will love others and treat them with kindness

Because after all, they are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Never Settle For Anything Less

Source: The Daily Therapy

Do What Makes You Happy

Source: The Daily Therapy

Parable of the Pencil

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the
box. “There are 5 things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I
send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and 
you will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow 
yourself to be held in Someone's hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but 
you'll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.”

“And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No
matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with
purpose in its heart.


Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and 
never forget, and you will become the best person you can be. 

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow 
yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access
you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going
through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person. 

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. 

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No
matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Something to Ponder On

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right

one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to
be grateful for that gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often
times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one
which has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was
the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until
it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love
you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that
fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a
smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your
heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just
want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you
want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all
the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make
you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you
happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have
searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the
importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you
can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and
heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was
smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is
smiling and everyone around you is crying.

-- Author Unknown

Random Thought

Honestly, you don't have the obligation to explain to everyone where you are coming from because if they really care, they won't be pitching for questions. They won't doubt and judge you, because they KNOW you. They will be there to LISTEN because after all, that is all you need, someone who will LISTEN. 

Bonding with BFF

My BFF Kristal, whom I fondly call 'Japsee, and I had a sweet afternoon date last Saturday before I attended the launching of Mr. Kengkoy at Moonleaf Naga. We decided to try Hands and Strands' BFF package which includes Hair Spa, Manicure, Pedicure and Foot Spa. As soon as we've finalized the plans for the afternoon, I immediately texted the number posted on their weebly to set an appointment and tadah! we got a slot for 2pm.

Hands and Strands is located at the first floor of ADC Hotel beside Mexicali Naga. You'll easily notice the salon because you will be greeted by an unusual 'blackboard' themed signage, just right outside the salon, where you can see the prices of the services it offers.

Entrance Door

Sweet scents of lemon and mint dominate the salon which makes every client a bit curious of what they are to expect when they avail any of the services. Since my best friend and I were getting the BFF package, the one in charge suggested that we have the hair spa first before they do our nails. They asked us to wear cute golden robes while they prepared all the necessary paraphernalia for the foot spa :)

Hair Spa

We were presented with the three flavors for the hair spa namely beads, strawberry and mint. Japsee chose the one with beads while I opted for mint. 

Super comfy couch :)

After doing our hair, we were seated to this super comfy couch for our foot spa. The best thing about this couch is that it's too comfy that some customers would even fall asleep. 

And when you try to look up, you'll see an interesting interior.

Interior

The first thing that we did was to submerge our feet in lukewarm water for about 10-15 minutes. 

They have service slippers for customers availing the foot spa and pedicure service which I think is cute! :) And they're PINK!

Strawberry Flavored Foot Spa

Similar to their hair spa, Hands and Strands offers different flavors for their foot spa. You can choose from Mango, Strawberry, Lemon Grass and Peppermint, that's all that I can remember :( I got Strawberry while Japsee chose Peppermint. The one colored brown is like a mud wax which gives your feet a cool feeling after application.

Strawberry and Peppermint

Japsee

The entire BFF package lasted for about 2 1/2 hours. We decided to grab a bite at Mexicali to comfort our grumbling tummies :)) We ordered our favorite quesadillas, cheese and garlic for Japsee and grilled chicken for me :)

Cheese and Garlic Quesadillas

Grilled Chicken Quesadillas

I really had a great time bonding with my BFF and we both love Hands and Strands. Who knows, we might avail another package next month. 

Cheers to friendship!

Ybalon Resort

Ligaya, together with our friends, decided to have a nice holiday-off in Ybalon Resort, Iriga City. It was a long overdue plan since we have been wanting to visit Adee's place whom she often refers to as the 'City of Springs'. However, instead of having the originally planned overnight stay at Adee's, we opted to have to visit one of their best resorts, Ybalon Resort.

The moment that you enter the resort, you will really notice how clean and how well-maintained the resort is. The well-landscaped areas and the relaxing benches could really entice anyone who visits the resort. They also have a cemented pathwalk so you won't have to worry your shoes would be getting muddy whenever it rains. 

And of course, how can we not notice the gorgeous swimming pool? They only have one pool but it's an olympic-sized pool, enough for a few friends who wants to do a few lapse. 

On the middle left portion of the resort, you'll notice a cemented bridge. When you try to get closer to the bridge, you'd see a breed of Koi :)

Overall, we had a great experience. We were able to maximize the pool because there were only two groups who went swimming, us and a bunch of teenagers. The price was a breeze in our pockets. Entrance Fee was P50 and the cottages cost P300 each, we were even able to bargain getting two cottages for only P500. So, if you're planning to go for a swim, try Ybalon Resort for a change, the place is big enough for a family outing or a barkada getaway :)

To the BEST COOK...

I met my Auntie Gie long before I even knew she existed. She was my Aunt Lina's (mom's eldest sister) best friend, her only best friend and I frequently saw her while I was growing up. She was a regular visitor in my lola's house and my mom would tell me that Aunt Gie would always tell her that Aunt Gie really feels uncomfortable passing by their house whenever she sees my mom at the window. Note to Reader: My mom really exudes this aura that people oftentimes interpret as something negative but the truth is, my mom is a very shy person.    

When Aunt Lina left lola's house, she stayed with Aunt Gie. They transferred from one place to another and wherever they go, they bring their 'food business' with them. Both of them were hands-on with their business that they even ended up supplying meals for the employees of Graceland Bake House. I can remember my summer days when my brother and I used to take our vacation at my aunt's place and everyday, we get to have 3 to 4 viands with unlimited rice. The smell of the food would usually wake me up in the morning and make me crave for the day's meals. Yes, kuya and I would really gain a lot of pounds during our stay at their place. 

Auntie Gie was really a good cook. My family would always tap her whenever we have special occasions or just a simple Sunday family gathering. She can really make the occasion memorable because of the food! What I even like about her is that despite the rigorous procedure that she has to do in every menu, she can manage to burst into a heartful laugh. I love her laugh! It's really infectious! 

And for every family gathering, she was there, she was always there because she was part of our family. 

Early this year, months before I decided to try my luck in Singapore, she was diagnosed with cancer. Stage 3 lung cancer. The doctors removed the water in her lungs and one of her doctors found a trace of scar in her x-ray result. She was supposed to undergo chemotherapy but she decided not to, she said her family needed the money more than her. There was no regular medication, medicines were only bought whenever there is enough money and she replaced the medicines with herbal drinks. Our family kept praying for her, that was the best thing that we can do. 

From the moment that she was diagnosed with cancer, she eventually started losing weight. However, the 'infectious laugh' was still there. She could still  afford making other people laugh despite the excruciating pain brought by her illness. When she started attending the Sunday service at Upper Room, I personally felt relieved. I knew it was a good sign, I thought that she was getting well but later on, I realized that it was her way to make us feel her presence. She struggled to attend the service every Sunday until she can no longer bring herself to church. Weeks, months and the echos of her infectious laugh was suddenly replaced by murmurs of pain. 

Two weeks before she said goodbye, we visited her in their house at Dayangdang. She was very thin, she must have lost 40 pounds or more and the look on her face made me wish that she would still remember me. 
During our 3 hour stay, she mostly remained quiet. It was really painful seeing her in that state. I cannot bear seeing her like that.



October 20, 2012, 6:30pm, Aunt Gie gave her last breath. 


I will really miss you Auntie Gie. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for the delicious meals that you've cooked for us. Thank you for teaching me how to play Bingo. Thank you for treating me like a real niece. Thank you for coming to our family. 

Repost from Herold Pelonio:
May the Angels lead her into Paradise.
May the Martyrs receive her at her coming
and take her to Jerusalem, the Holy City.
May the Choirs of the Angels receive her, 
and may she, with the once poor Lazarus, 
have rest everlasting. Amen.  

Losing part of YOURSELF

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

Someday You'll Meet Him

Mishaps & Fortune

I know that they usually associate the month of August with drought, financially. According to my mom, while I was growing up, August is a month where there is lesser income in our business and it seemed like a month's salary is never enough for an ordinary employee. However, if that would be the case, then for some, it's like "August" every month. I guess some of you will agree.

August 2012 is an extreme month for me. It was this month that I receive three job offers from multi-national companies but I ended up declining all their offer. It rarely happened to me being offered the same job from different companies, all with enticing remuneration package. Yet, my heart was telling to say NO and say YES to my mom on her request for me to stay in Bicol.

August 18, 2012, our beloved ex-mayor died in a plane crash. DILG Secretary Jesse Manalastas Robredo, a good man and an exemplary public servant, had an accident while he was on his way home from Cebu to Naga City. He was trying to catch the awarding of his youngest daughter when the Cessna plane that he was on had engine failure. He was found 180 ft below sea and 800 meters from the shore. Yorme's body lies at the Archbishop's Palace now where a number of Naguenos would patiently wait for their turn to see the casket of their beloved 'Pogi'.

August 20, 2012. I almost lost my Blackberry Torch when a stranger tried to snatch the phone from my bag. Good thing an honest lady called my attention so I was able to run after the thief. I really thank the Lord for the two security guards who followed me and never left my side until the thief returned my BB.

August 22, 2012. Finally, Ligaya's dream is coming true. I can't share it yet but it's for a good cause. I will blog about it as soon as everything is final.

P.S. I am sorry if there is no coherence on my blog. I just need to share all these things before I forget them.

Ring Finger

According to tradition in some countries (derived from Roman belief), the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, referred to as the vena amoris, was said to be directly connected to the heart, as a symbol of love.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger

The Untold Story

Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister. I would imagine my big sister helping me choose the right clothes, giving advice on zit outbursts and sharing her own experiences on how she got through a particular girl dilemma, dealing with boys!

I have always wondered how it would feel like having a sister. Mama, coming from a big family with 8 siblings, has 3 sisters while my papa has two younger sisters. I can imagine a regular 'make over session' where your sister paints your nails while you do her hair and a frequent fashion show where you'd get to wear her hand-me-down clothes. You'd be more lucky if you're elder, I think.

Nevertheless, there was also a sense of fascination when my friends would tell me that they would rather have a big brother instead, that I am so lucky because I have a 'kuya'. I would retort, 'having a sister is more fun, kuya doesn't play dolls', with a matching sad face. I was a kid then, who would have thought that an innocent fascination would turn out to be a real blessing.

My kuya is just a year older than me. He was born on April 9 and I was born on the 5th. I don't know how my parents did it but they must have a purpose why we were born on the same month. Since we are just one year apart by birth, I get to have the same age as his for 4 days. My consistent mischief would be calling him by his first name, besides, we are of the same age right? But I could only do that on the first day, maybe because it was more than getting used to calling him 'kuya' for 361 days but he deserves the respect of the title 'kuya'.

My brother has always been my 'protector'. I remembered the time when we were just little kids and we were used to playing in our neighbors' house. There was this one time when I was bitten by our neighbor's dog, kuya immediately grabbed me and all the way to our house, his small hands were encircling my 'fat' thigh just so the rabies won't go up to my heart :( He was pushing me to go on, to keep on walking until we reach our house so that lola could put something on the wound.

There was also one incident when he had to get some coins at our school's fish pond (it was thought to be a wishing pond) just so he could buy me a fishball. He got the coins while I was on the lookout, trying to avoid our ever strict school guard 'Guard Edwin'. I was so hungry that time and we had no money left on our pockets. We were waiting for someone to fetch us and my kuya tried to find a way to feed us both.

I was a crybaby and he was always there to make things seem okay. As long as I have my brother, everything felt right, I feel like nothing bad will happen to me. However, a protector would also have a time of weakness. I remembered crying when I learned that my brother broke his right arm while he was playing at school. It was my Chinese teacher who told me that my brother got into an accident and I rushed to the room where he was but instead of being strong, I fled because I could not bear seeing him like that. I cried and cried until the second period. What was worst was that I could not see my brother in the hospital until his x-ray is done. I ended up calling in sick the following day just to sit beside him all day, watching cartoons.

Don't get me wrong but we would also quarrel. He would squeeze my hands until it makes me cry and when we were getting old, whenever I did something wrong, he would not talk to me for weeks! Even if I tried to win his apology by doing the chores, he would treat me as if I was not physically there. Yes, I am scared of my kuya and I hate it when he gets mad at me.

Now.

Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted having a big sister but having a big brother is way better. I may not share my clothes with him, won't have make-up and make-over sessions but having someone who will stand by you and encourage you to go on even if the whole world doesn't feel like going with your plans, it's more than to be thankful for. My kuya and I don't regularly talk but when we talk, it's worth the days and weeks that we're not communicating. Even if he would often call me 'spoiled brat', he would always see to it that I get what I want, from my goals to my 'wants' (thanks again for the DSLR kuya!) even it means that he has to sacrifice, that he has to work harder.

Now.

I do not know if I could still make it here in Singapore knowing that I only have 3 weeks left to find a job. Nevertheless, should I not be destined to be here, I'd be more than happy to go back. I am more excited to see my brother and share the space with him. I am excited to clean our house, to cook meals for him and to do the groceries, just like the old times.

Even if I failed here in Singapore, I have a bigger blessing that I am looking forward to when I get home :)

Surviving the 28th year

Yesterday, June 25, 2012, my parents celebrated their 28th Wedding Anniversary. I know it is a special day but I don't recall any form of celebration to commemorate that extraordinary day. Ever since I was a kid, it seemed like a very ordinary day for me and my brother. I guess the overflowing beer and the 'til dawn' karaoke would speak of the 'special celebration' because it is also on the same day that my grandmother (papa's mama) was born.

I would often remember my mom saying to my papa 'Oh, ma anniversary na naman kita, mairinuman na naman kamo' (We're going to have our anniversary soon, you're going to get drunk again). Perhaps it was my papa's family's definition of celebration, getting drunk until the wee hours of morning and the guests would just start to leave as soon as my grandmother would start acting 'differently'. Yes, I am never proud of this circumstance. I feel like hiding myself in the house, pretending that I can't hear what our neighbors are saying the following morning.

28 years of marriage. I have been a witness of how sweet and how painful these 28 years are. My family is not perfect, just as everybody thought that I lived in a stress-free home. I grew up in a verbally violent house. There was even a time when I would hear my parents arguing in the morning and it's as if there was a pause button when I was at school, just in time when I get home, the play button will suddenly turn on. Eventually, these heated arguments came to the point in which my mom decided for us to leave my papa. We stayed with my mom's mother for a year or two. Honestly, it was a relief for both me and my brother to be kept away from an environment where you can't even recognize your own father. I thought it was the end of their marriage. The arguments were worst than our financial concerns, I felt like it was really the end. 

Yet, God made a way. I personally think that if these bad experiences did not happen, I would not be as close to God as I am now. I don't want to sound too religious but yes, the Christian community helped us 'build' our 'house' again. Since then, our family has been attending Christian service every Sunday because if it was not for God, my family might not be complete today.

My father started to get involved in the praise and worship team. Mama became a regular volunteer for the flower arrangement group. I, myself, would also volunteer to sing during the offertory whenever my schedule permits me to. 

Personally, I think that keeping a marriage for 28 years is not easy. Some would give up as early as the first year. I still believe that in a relationship, as long as one person decides to hold on, the relationship will survive. In our case, it was my mom who decided not to let go despite of everything bad that has happened. I really admire my mom for being so tough, despite her petite size, she can instantly transform into a tiger. My brother and I are even afraid of her more than our father.

For the blissful 28 years, I thank the Lord for keeping my family together. I thank the Lord for making my mama strong. I thank the Lord for never giving up on my father. I thank the Lord for the renewed souls, for the understanding heart and for another blissful wedding anniversary for my parents :)

The Bucket List

Earlier today, I was trying to recall where I wrote my original bucket list. I am not sure if I was brave enough to share it to my pseudo-readers (if I have any at all) or I just tried to keep it to myself then will just blog about the experience once I crossed out the particular item in my bucket list. Hmm.. I think I would prefer the former :)

To give you a short background, the so called bucket list started with the movie with the same title. It was shown in 2007 which starred Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Freeman was a mechanic while Nicholson was a billionaire who also owned the hospital where they are both confined at. They both had lung cancer and eventually they became friends while they were undergoing the treatment. It was Freeman who started writing the 'things that he wanted to do before he dies' while Carter, while learning about Freeman's plans, offered to finance his 'trips'.

I came across the story because of Kuya Egz. Kuya Egz, whom I fondly call 'Gier', is one of the best people in the university whom you can consult about music and movies. When I say consult, it's like if you're looking for a music for a particular formation session, music that has meaning, then he is the 'guy'. As for movies, he may have seen almost all the tear-jerker movies of every decade and he can easily recommend what is best, let's say for a particular session or if you are simply looking for a quality movie that you can watch over the weekend. Yes, he is the king of soundtrack and films.

Back to my bucket list. I tried to remember the things that I originally wrote and perhaps I will be adding more in the near future. What's important is that I was able to document my bucket list this time. So, here goes.

Tintin's Bucket List

1. Learn how to swim (I partly know how to swim now, am just trying to practice the intervals in breathing and the hand stroke during for a freestyle)
2. Travel to one foreign place every year (I did this for the last two years and this year was my first international trip)
3. Be employed in a foreign country (*fingers crossed*)
4. Get married at the age of 26 (Maybe I could make it 27, in case)
5. Learn how to play the guitar (Still thinking when I could do this)
6. Learn how to drive (When? Soon?)
7. Name my daughter Sophia Danielle
8. Have at least 3 dogs in my OWN house
9. Talk to a random stranger and offer him/her a ride home
10. Learn how to cook
11. Have my own website
12. Sing infront of 1,000 people
13. Give my mom her dream shop - her own flower shop
14. Admit to one person that I was crushing on him
15. Learn one foreign language
16. Learn how to surf

A Boys Scout's Lesson

I recently became sick and it was that worse that I thought I would stay in the hospital for a couple of days but when the doctor gave me that 'shot' through direct IV, I somehow felt a little better and decided to just stay home instead. I never told any of my relatives because I don't really want them to worry. I know that I'd be fine but one of my favorite uncle (my mom's brother) suddenly sent me a text message which was really sweet. It was something that he learned when he was a member of the boy scouts.

'Thank God. Nice to hear that. One thing I learned about duties when I joined the boy scouts during my elementary years: duty to self, duty to others, duty to country, duty to God. Duty to self is intrinsic. After all self-preservation is the first law of nature. But for people who have been raised to look after the welfare of others - like you - sometimes the self is relegated. Take care of yourself always. We are more effective influence to others when we are in good health. God bless.' (Sent last April 29, 2012, 7:59am) 

YOU

YOU who made my heart skipped a beat the first time I saw you in the middle of the day as you glided along the pavement towards my school. I knew it, it was attraction at first sight. I'm not sure what love meant then but I am sure, you had one of the brightest smile that could lighten up a dull day. You had one of those sweetest stare that could melt any girl's heart and you had that distinct way of saying R's which makes every word sounds childish yet manly.

I prayed then that you would notice me and you did. God knows that I do not deserve a perfect being like you. We were the exact opposite. You were tall, I was short. You were thin, I was semi-fat. You were good-looking, I had issues then if I was attractive. We somehow had a number of differences. Your school was full of rowdy boys, ok, perhaps a number of rowdy boys while my school was made up of the unknown geeks in town. You were an only child while I was the youngest child. Yet despite our differences, we somehow 'clicked'.

We both shared the same interest on anime, I was your Miaka, you were my Tamahome. I remembered both of us getting a little emotional over the dramatic scenes of a simple tv series. We talked for hours over the phone, it's as if there's no tomorrow. We had endless topics to talk about. You were in my world and so did I. It was August 21, 2001. We officially became a couple. Despite the overwhelming love that we have for each other, we decided to part ways. We were fighting over the same issue and I had to admit, I have hurt you a lot. Our relationship died after two years and a half.

College. I was not sure if I want to be in ADNU. I knew for a fact that I would bump into you. But you know what? What really scares me is seeing you with somebody else. Despite the fear, I enrolled in ADNU. I took Psychology and you were taking up Information Management then later I learned that you shifted to Management. Then my worse fear came true. I saw you, with her, a girl whom I don't really know, she's holding your hands, the hands that used to be mine. I can't explain the pain, I knew that I had to get away. It was on that day that I admitted that I loved you still, that I shouldn't have asked you to let me go.

Second year. I received a call from you. You were drunk. You asking me back. I hesitated. I was not sure if I was ready, ready to take the risk. One thing I was sure of was I still loved you, I have always loved you despite all. Both of us took the risk. 

October 7, 2004, we got back together.

Yes, YOU. I know that we still have to work on our ups and downs, we still have our petty 'tampuhans' and childish 'fights' but giving up on each other is not an option. We did that once but we're not doing it again. Our relationship has survived a lot of trials and it kept us strong, it made us love each other more.

YOU. The man who made me a better woman. The man who was always there for me and for my dreams despite the failures. The man who made me want to look forward for tomorrows, for movie dates, for arcade games, for pet shops and for pizzas. The man who unceasingly showed how compassionate he can be for the man he loves. The man who has sacrificed a lot just to see me happy. The man who willingly took the responsibility of taking care of me.

You. My soulmate, my confidante, my bestfriend, my beau, my number one fan and my pet buddy. I love you, until my last breath ♥ I can't wait to become Mrs. Kristine Bernadette D. Mariano :) 

Marriage

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

... Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Source: Random post from Facebook :)