Saturday, March 31, 2012

Moving Out. Moving In.

Today officially marks my last day as the Prefect of the Xavier Honors' Dormitory.

One year. It has been a year since I embraced the responsibility of 'watching over' 26 souls. It was a decision that I never imagined would take me to where I am now. It was a decision with uncertainty but became one of the wisest decision that I ever made.

Living in the dormitory is not that hard. There is a specific structure that one must follow. The problem usually lies with the consistency in doing what is expected from the dormers. EXPECTATIONS. I would usually hear people saying 'much is expected from the dormers because they are provided with so much'. TOO MUCH BLESSINGS equates TOO MUCH EXPECTATIONS. That was my idea, they were provided with so much privileges thus they must do something to compensate for those privileges.

I was under the impression that I, as a prefect, must ensure that all the things demanded from the dormers should be followed. Although it never slipped my mind what Kuya Zero told us, that above all technicalities 'cura personalis' must prevail. So I did. I tried to be an authority and at the same time, a sister to them. I insisted on 'respect rather than fear' and I invited them to be more open to me. I valued communication overall and I would reiterate to them that I'd rather be confronted if they have problems with me rather than hearing the concern from others.

Being a prefect is not an easy task, especially if people are expecting you to accomplish as much as a 'full time prefect' does. However, what makes the job of a prefect significant is the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. MAKING A DIFFERENCE, that's what makes our job difficult. If you are basically a person who would not take this as part of your responsibility then being a prefect is easy. Making a difference is simple, that's what I learned from the dorm. Making time for your dormers so you could listen to their stories, how they struggled to get the scholarship, their long-term plans for their family and simple stories of their life outside the dormitory is already making a difference. YOU made time for them, YOU listened to them, YOU were there for them.

Generally, my kids (that's how I call them) are talented students. Yes, indeed, the students in the dormitory are not ordinary students, not because they are academically excellent but they can be that responsible despite their age. Some of them would just need a little push so they could discover the things that they can do. Some would need a little 'reminding' to help them reevaluate and refocus their goals.

I am happy that I was given that chance to spend time with them. I myself learned a lot from the dormers. I just hope that through their journey, they will not forget where they came from and to be consistently grateful for all the blessings that they have received and are about to receive. I pray that my kids would always remember that they are doing all these things because it is the purpose of our creation, to glorify the name of God :)

Eight Varsity Night Out

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The Dream Team




I will really miss working with these people :(

Friday, March 30, 2012

Masaya Ka Ba?

This is the first line that registered in my consciousness while I struggled choosing between the mountain-like documents that I have to file or to type and write instead. I really miss writing. I miss sharing my thoughts through writing :(

Early this morning, I decided to visit my old blog. I used to have an account with blogspot but due to the daily demands at work and school, I usually miss a lot of opportunities to write. I tried to read my old blogs and I somehow felt a little relieved because I can sense a bit of improvement with the way I write. I think I am a BIT organized with my thoughts this time. Sometimes, I even feel like laughing because I can't seem to recall why I had to write on a particular topic. Partly, it also amazes me how I was able to come up with such thoughts, I could not even believe that I wrote those :)

MASAYA KA BA. This is the last significant question that I asked myself before I officially requested to be transferred to the Alumni and International Relations Office. Yes, finally, I am no longer connected with the Ignatian Formation Center. It is somehow a relief, no, I am underestimating the blessings, let me rephrase that. I am SO RELIEVED to be out of the office. After keeping up with the rigid demands of the office, I was able to survive for more than 3 years. Honestly, this is the longest job that I had and I did not even know how I lasted that long. Perhaps it was the work of the Holy Spirit that sustained me.

However, me, being in the dormitory as Prefect, can still feel the wrath of her power. Yes, too much power can consume you and can make you do different things. I don't specifically understand where her judgment is coming from plus the lack of consistency even complicates things. You might be wondering what I am talking about, let's just say that she made her choices and it was as if she was pushing people to conform to her choice. She has always been like that, consistent in that sense.

I don't really know if people are still happy around her. In my case, I was not that's why I decided to leave her. Let's just describe it as a feeling of discomfort because what you preach is different from your actions. Too much anxiety builds up and basically, it can kill a person, literally and figuratively. I was in that circumstance that is why I decided  that I had to let go and I am glad I did.

I AM HAPPIER NOW. GENUINELY HAPPY.