Random Thought

Honestly, you don't have the obligation to explain to everyone where you are coming from because if they really care, they won't be pitching for questions. They won't doubt and judge you, because they KNOW you. They will be there to LISTEN because after all, that is all you need, someone who will LISTEN. 

To the BEST COOK...

I met my Auntie Gie long before I even knew she existed. She was my Aunt Lina's (mom's eldest sister) best friend, her only best friend and I frequently saw her while I was growing up. She was a regular visitor in my lola's house and my mom would tell me that Aunt Gie would always tell her that Aunt Gie really feels uncomfortable passing by their house whenever she sees my mom at the window. Note to Reader: My mom really exudes this aura that people oftentimes interpret as something negative but the truth is, my mom is a very shy person.    

When Aunt Lina left lola's house, she stayed with Aunt Gie. They transferred from one place to another and wherever they go, they bring their 'food business' with them. Both of them were hands-on with their business that they even ended up supplying meals for the employees of Graceland Bake House. I can remember my summer days when my brother and I used to take our vacation at my aunt's place and everyday, we get to have 3 to 4 viands with unlimited rice. The smell of the food would usually wake me up in the morning and make me crave for the day's meals. Yes, kuya and I would really gain a lot of pounds during our stay at their place. 

Auntie Gie was really a good cook. My family would always tap her whenever we have special occasions or just a simple Sunday family gathering. She can really make the occasion memorable because of the food! What I even like about her is that despite the rigorous procedure that she has to do in every menu, she can manage to burst into a heartful laugh. I love her laugh! It's really infectious! 

And for every family gathering, she was there, she was always there because she was part of our family. 

Early this year, months before I decided to try my luck in Singapore, she was diagnosed with cancer. Stage 3 lung cancer. The doctors removed the water in her lungs and one of her doctors found a trace of scar in her x-ray result. She was supposed to undergo chemotherapy but she decided not to, she said her family needed the money more than her. There was no regular medication, medicines were only bought whenever there is enough money and she replaced the medicines with herbal drinks. Our family kept praying for her, that was the best thing that we can do. 

From the moment that she was diagnosed with cancer, she eventually started losing weight. However, the 'infectious laugh' was still there. She could still  afford making other people laugh despite the excruciating pain brought by her illness. When she started attending the Sunday service at Upper Room, I personally felt relieved. I knew it was a good sign, I thought that she was getting well but later on, I realized that it was her way to make us feel her presence. She struggled to attend the service every Sunday until she can no longer bring herself to church. Weeks, months and the echos of her infectious laugh was suddenly replaced by murmurs of pain. 

Two weeks before she said goodbye, we visited her in their house at Dayangdang. She was very thin, she must have lost 40 pounds or more and the look on her face made me wish that she would still remember me. 
During our 3 hour stay, she mostly remained quiet. It was really painful seeing her in that state. I cannot bear seeing her like that.



October 20, 2012, 6:30pm, Aunt Gie gave her last breath. 


I will really miss you Auntie Gie. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for the delicious meals that you've cooked for us. Thank you for teaching me how to play Bingo. Thank you for treating me like a real niece. Thank you for coming to our family. 

Repost from Herold Pelonio:
May the Angels lead her into Paradise.
May the Martyrs receive her at her coming
and take her to Jerusalem, the Holy City.
May the Choirs of the Angels receive her, 
and may she, with the once poor Lazarus, 
have rest everlasting. Amen.  

Mishaps & Fortune

I know that they usually associate the month of August with drought, financially. According to my mom, while I was growing up, August is a month where there is lesser income in our business and it seemed like a month's salary is never enough for an ordinary employee. However, if that would be the case, then for some, it's like "August" every month. I guess some of you will agree.

August 2012 is an extreme month for me. It was this month that I receive three job offers from multi-national companies but I ended up declining all their offer. It rarely happened to me being offered the same job from different companies, all with enticing remuneration package. Yet, my heart was telling to say NO and say YES to my mom on her request for me to stay in Bicol.

August 18, 2012, our beloved ex-mayor died in a plane crash. DILG Secretary Jesse Manalastas Robredo, a good man and an exemplary public servant, had an accident while he was on his way home from Cebu to Naga City. He was trying to catch the awarding of his youngest daughter when the Cessna plane that he was on had engine failure. He was found 180 ft below sea and 800 meters from the shore. Yorme's body lies at the Archbishop's Palace now where a number of Naguenos would patiently wait for their turn to see the casket of their beloved 'Pogi'.

August 20, 2012. I almost lost my Blackberry Torch when a stranger tried to snatch the phone from my bag. Good thing an honest lady called my attention so I was able to run after the thief. I really thank the Lord for the two security guards who followed me and never left my side until the thief returned my BB.

August 22, 2012. Finally, Ligaya's dream is coming true. I can't share it yet but it's for a good cause. I will blog about it as soon as everything is final.

P.S. I am sorry if there is no coherence on my blog. I just need to share all these things before I forget them.

Rejected

Perhaps God has a greater plan for me :) I pray that you grant me the wisdom and an ever patient heart to understand and embrace your will.

Masaya Ka Ba?

This is the first line that registered in my consciousness while I struggled choosing between the mountain-like documents that I have to file or to type and write instead. I really miss writing. I miss sharing my thoughts through writing :(

Early this morning, I decided to visit my old blog. I used to have an account with blogspot but due to the daily demands at work and school, I usually miss a lot of opportunities to write. I tried to read my old blogs and I somehow felt a little relieved because I can sense a bit of improvement with the way I write. I think I am a BIT organized with my thoughts this time. Sometimes, I even feel like laughing because I can't seem to recall why I had to write on a particular topic. Partly, it also amazes me how I was able to come up with such thoughts, I could not even believe that I wrote those :)

MASAYA KA BA. This is the last significant question that I asked myself before I officially requested to be transferred to the Alumni and International Relations Office. Yes, finally, I am no longer connected with the Ignatian Formation Center. It is somehow a relief, no, I am underestimating the blessings, let me rephrase that. I am SO RELIEVED to be out of the office. After keeping up with the rigid demands of the office, I was able to survive for more than 3 years. Honestly, this is the longest job that I had and I did not even know how I lasted that long. Perhaps it was the work of the Holy Spirit that sustained me.

However, me, being in the dormitory as Prefect, can still feel the wrath of her power. Yes, too much power can consume you and can make you do different things. I don't specifically understand where her judgment is coming from plus the lack of consistency even complicates things. You might be wondering what I am talking about, let's just say that she made her choices and it was as if she was pushing people to conform to her choice. She has always been like that, consistent in that sense.

I don't really know if people are still happy around her. In my case, I was not that's why I decided to leave her. Let's just describe it as a feeling of discomfort because what you preach is different from your actions. Too much anxiety builds up and basically, it can kill a person, literally and figuratively. I was in that circumstance that is why I decided  that I had to let go and I am glad I did.

I AM HAPPIER NOW. GENUINELY HAPPY.

Define 'HONORS'

I AM WRITING THIS OUT OF IMPULSE.

I am quite disappointed with what's happening in the Xavier Honors' Dormitory for Ladies. I don't know what kind of formation was given to them but what I am seeing now is all BS.

It was two weeks ago when someone approached me and informed me that a 'conflict' was budding in the dormitory. The culprit? The same old people who were consistent violators. I tried to talked to the aggrieved and she was very honest with what happened. The next thing I knew, I have been hearing comments lang 'ang kapal naman ng mukha ni mam tin sa pagtext kang mga rules, dai mi man ngani sya nakakaiba'. Yes, their basis now of rules formulation is how frequent we spend time together.

I am GREATLY disappointed. I wonder what happened to the so-called 'formation' of our dormers. To think that they are 'honors' dormers'. I can't even believe that I had to sacrifice my family for this.

I am ANGRY.

Sound Judgement

I am really exasperated with the results of the Cheer and Dance Competition. If you were there, I know what I'm talking about. For the record, I am writing this blog to express what I am feeling now, this is not to defend AS or anything. I am writing this now because what I saw earlier during the colleges' presentation is contradictory with the results.

Assumption. AS and ABBS committed a number of deductions because 'some' of the stunts were done outside the rubber mat. I think we must review the video documentation of the presentation so we could re-check and re-asses whether these violations really transpired because as far as I know, I was sitting in front, three rows away from the main stage, and I didn't see any stunt done outside the rubber mat.

Assumption. One of the judges gave a whooping 400 PERFECT point to the winner.  Talk about sound judgement huh? To top it all off, we cannot even question the credibility of the judges. Too bad the point system is not averaging :( Implication?  When a judge, at least one of them, gave a perfect score to one of the colleges and decided to give the rest half the score, of course, there would be a big difference in the score gaps.

Assumption. Assuming that one of the judges really gave a perfect score to the winner, where did she based this? Was the act of judging just a pure hypocrisy? Did she just sat there and just decided to give that particular college a perfect score? Yes, I understand that we could not question the credibility of the judges, it is irrevocable according to the policy. However, we also have the right to be informed how she came up with that score. I mean, I am not saying that it would be too impossible for a cheer and dance group to garner a perfect score but if you were only there to witness the performance, even you would not believe that it was worth the perfect score.

Again, let me clarify that I have nothing against UECS winning the competition but I think it was not a fair competition. I have been a regular spectator of the cheer and dance competition, I am not an expert, but I think I can still clearly JUDGE whether a group is in sync or not. I am convinced until now that AS should not be in the 5th place and this goes to ABBS as well.

I am deeply disappointed, truly I am. I cannot even bear to see the faces of the kids at the gym when Raffy Magno announced the winners. I can feel their pain, I can feel that they too were shocked because we all saw how hard they practiced for their routines. This is not just a cheer and dance competition, it's about the discipline, the dedication and the commitment of these kids, the sacrifices that they made just to represent and make their college proud. I just hope that all these things would not be put to waste just because of a STUPID JUDGEMENT.

True?

Gamers = Breakups

For the record, we're still together but because of what happened earlier, I'm thinking twice of staying in the relationship. This happened for the nth time, countless times that I couldn't recall anymore. Him asking me to accompany him in the shop and eventually I ended up the one in charge of the business while sweet lil ol' him would play with his friends and eventually FORGETTING THAT SUPPOSEDLY HE SHOULD BE BUYING DINNER FOR US AS HE PROMISED but what happens is we ended up having no dinner for the night. This time, it's quite different. I volunteered to go to the shop and there he was, all cuddly and sweet and suddenly, the friends started encouraging the people around them to play. I told him it's okay to play since it was still early and we could have dinner at 8. The game started at 6:30pm and I tried to keep myself busy by looking at the auctions at e-bay. Later did I noticed that it was already 15 before 8 and alas! the game was finished. I was just not aware that my guy would still encourage his friends to play for another round. WTF?!? Supposedly, I should already be screaming "Hunnie, are you forgetting it's dinner time and we don't have anything to eat because the last minute before your started playing you said that you're going to buy us dinner" but I didn't out of respect for him and for his friends. So I ended up whining silently and wishing that I went straight at home so that I least I could have a normal meal. Ok, the big deal here is not really the meal but for god's sake, how many times have we ended up like this and the promises "Oo, d na mauulit. Sana d na ako naglaro." broken. God, I wish you could put yourself together and act mature. Remember, your dad's not here anymore, you are responsible for providing your family a better life. Palibasa nasanay ka. I couldn't really gauge how long I could take this and I'm not sure if I can still keep up with you. All I know is I threw the 'commitment' ring out of rage. Whatever happens, so be it!