Tribute to my Friends

Since graduation is here to come and a few weeks from now, I won't be able to share the same time with my block-friends, I decided to give them a little tribute so that you would know how I see my friends and how important they are to me. So, here it goes...

**Alphabetically Arranged **

CAROLE

Thank you for being so nice and so natural that I can be myself around you. It's quite amazing that we share many things in common and the fact that we could easily laugh at petty things hilariously but still keeping our "pa-demure" image startles me. Oh yeah, I miss chatting you with my ym buddy. Good luck with your "B" buddy...hehe.

JHIE

My singing buddy. I thought my passion for music will fade the moment I entered college but you, you gave me the inspiration to pursue my passion in my own way. Hey, I miss hanging out with you, the typical day when we would sing and I would always insist that you teach me how to do the second voice..hehe. I miss you na talaga Jhie. I hope that we could catch up sometimes. You're my music jhie, you're the note that gives life to my music.

KIXIE

My fellow bookworm. Thank you for influencing me with good books of authors who are new to me. Thank you for letting me explore the good and BEST books and thank you for being my library ^_^. Someday, I wish we could set up a bookstore, yes, owned by the two of us so that no matter how far we are from each other, we have the same valid reasons to come back and sit for a while to check our business and have a good book by our side. Again, same with carole, I wish that you'd have "V" as your lifetime buddy.. ;P

MAY

My look-a-like and my long-lost sister. Thank you for being so caring and for being like a real sister. You know how much I wanted having a big sister by my side. Someone who could share make-ups and teach me the do's and don'ts in fixing myself. Thank you, I mean, I never thought that you could be as nice like this. Oh yeah, thank you too for your antics that sometimes it makes me burst into laughter and at the same time makes me wonder how easy is it for you to blurt out those things. Thank you, my dear sister and one of the best friends that I have.

MOMI

My mother, my friend, my confidante. We're always together that sometimes I'm thinking that other people see us as a couple (hahaha! ;p) Though I don't know if I am able to let you feel that you're important to me, I want you to know that you've been one of the few people who shared with me a million laughs and a million tears. It's as if we have the same wavelength that we don't really have to speak our minds out. Silence, with you, I'm comfortable with it. Thank you, I mean, thank you isn't enough... *speechless*

OEY

Hai, I don't know how to describe you. The sosyalera of the group but with a touch of "green-ness" (go ask him what this means!) The fashionista who would always remember his friends whenever he is in the ukay-ukay. The bank of the group and the hopelessly romantic wishing that his "J" would somehow love him back (haha, you'd kill me for this). Nevertheless, though he is sometimes mataray, his deep concern for his friends never ceases and that's what I love about him. Thank you Oey for being so true.

ZCHEN

One of my sisters who never forgets to wish us luck during examinations. The simple notes and simple drawings with a personal touch, that's her trademark. Thank you for staying by my side especially when we were in first year, the time when I thought I was okay but deep down inside, I was hurting. I wish that you'd find someone who could love you the way you want to. I just wish you happiness, I want to see you smile again.

~* JAPS *~

Nothing and no one compares to you..

Hear ye, Hear ye

Just wanted to have some changes in my blog so here it is...tada! 

Question for the Day:

Who is at the center of your life? 

THINK ABOUT IT.

THEN ANSWER ME.

Memorize by Heart the Lines...

... thou shall not expect too much for they shall be frustrated

... unsatisfied teachers are the best ones

...issues are like JACK-in-a-BOX, they just pop surprisingly

... thoughts are generated by your brain, thoughtfulness = mind + heart

... friendship is not measured by the years you were together but by the times that you were there for each other, to listen and to comfort one another

... count your blessings, it might be greater than your life

... live to learn and learn to live

... sharing is one thing but GIVING is something

... only a pure heart can forgive and forget

... practice random acts of kindness

Final Defense

** Final defense was held yesterday at the Psych Lab at around 10:30 in the morning **

Experiences:

• Had to present the discussion, summary and conclusion, limitations and recommendations.
• Was aiming to finish it within 5 minutes and I think I somehow succeeded
• Thought that I'd faint (hehe) because of dehydration (summer's really coming..sheesh!)
• Was touched by our ever-supportive friends who went there just to see us
• Again...was touched with what Oey did for us, 'twas a big thing oey, THANK YOU!
• and again, was touched by those who remembered that it was our doom's day (thank you for the encouragement, it helped ^_^)
• Felt like crying when Ma'am Cathy didn't seem to get the essence of our paper
• Disheartened when the questioning seemed to be unending especially on Ma'am Cathy's part (I didn't really expect that..tsktsk)
• Had to revise some parts which is essential for the clarity of our paper
• Appreciated the empathy of Ms. Mars Ayo-Permale
• Hot-Seat!
• Found it cute when Ma'am Lynette started greeting her fellow teachers Kung Hei Fat Choi when she distributed the ang pao
• Restless, stressed and pressured

Aftermath Experiences:

• Went out for lunch with friends
• Bonded with my EVER-loved friends
• Attended the assembly for graduating students
• Sang some old songs with friends
• Had some yummy PANCIT CANTON with friends
• Did some form of CATHARSIS...

Another Heartache

Numbness, Emptiness, and Despair draw near

Rainy weather friends who only come to sneer

What have I done, what this time went wrong

She left here happy, then e-mailed me so long

Welcome home, my heart says opening the door

Misery walks in, throwing his stuff on the floor

I see love has been here, he says with a sly grin

But today she has left you, and I am moving in

My heart sadly says; of course you’re here to stay

I can depend on you; it’s never been another way

Can I ask you one favor, long before you are gone

Please kill me and release my soul before too long

I can’t take any more cruelty, which seems my fate

To live is not life, if ones heart lives without a mate

My head has become so dizzy and filled with dread

Please, Misery before you leave make sure I’m dead

Misery is comfortable in a heart filled with Despair

Numbness and Emptiness also regularly visit there

Sadness and Loneliness help eyes form another lake

Today all reunited again, my heart welcomes home:

ANOTHER HEARTACHE

Sacrifices

When I got home at around 7:30 p.m., I overheard my mom talking to my aunt (her sister) on the phone. I was then talking to my dad who happened to ask why I seem to be early today and I explained that we had to do some consultation with our adviser since we had to move our final defense a week earlier. I went upstairs and confirmed that it was my Aunt Lina on the line (my mother has a unique hand signal signifying that she's talking to Aunt Lina, TALK ABOUT BEING A GIRL!).

When we were about to have our dinner, my mom shared that one of her siblings (mom has 9 siblings) Aunt Edith is coming over to fetch my cousin. Aunt Edith told Aunt Lina that she won't enroll my cousin anymore because she's just wasting their money. Enrolled for 25 unit subjects but would seldom attend class. Just then Aunt Edith added that my mom is lucky because we are to graduate and give our parents a comfortable life. That's when I decided to write this blog.

Some people think that my brother and I are lucky especially comparing us with our cousins. My relatives would often say that we are lucky because we have some aunts (father side) who are working abroad and everytime we need financial help, we could easily approach them. OR they would mention that everything that I or my brother want, we always get it.

Now for my contention**

It isn't the fact that we have someone to run to just in case our finances don't meet our needs, it makes us lucky. I think the word lucky should be used for our parents. Yes, we are lucky because we have parents like mama and papa. They've always inculcated the virtues of discipline and respect which could be a possible factor why we are in our current state. Some people just don't know how much sacrifices we had to make so as to finish our studies. Yes, we are not rich and we were never rich unlike our other Dihiansan cousins. We live plainly on what is available for the day. Others may mistaken us rich because of our cousins, COUSINS thank you for sharing your prestige. There are even instances when my dad left and my mom has to be the mama and papa. She has to work and at the same time bring our food to St. Joseph so that we could eat lunch and our things for the afternoon class will be brought by a neighbor who happens to be a helper of mamaold. There were really times when my brother and I would wait for Kuya Ryan (the helper) at the waiting shed for our bags considering that 5 minutes, the bell would rang. There were also those times when we had to mingle with our classmates and considering that some of them are really rich kids, we would think twice if we would interact with them. Good thing, we found best friends in St. Joseph, that regardless of who or what you are, they'll stay behind you. I could even recall an instance when I had my first ever cellphone in high school which was a nokia 3210 then and one of my rich classmates asked, "nagpabili ka ng bagong cellphone tapos yan pang model na yan", the only lacking antic was "how cheap".

I don't want other people to pity me, it's the last thing that I would want them to do. I just want to let them understand that wherever we are right now, we had to work hard for it and honestly, part of me want to believe that my brother and I deserve the comfort that we have right now.Ii mean, good things in life, yes, they're free but some of them? you have to work hard and sacrifice to get them. Yes, we are lucky because aside from the virtues that our parents have taught us, they sarcrificed a lot for us. 

THANK YOU MAMA AND PAPA.

Growing Old Together

To Grow Old Together

Hands that now tremble and shake as they reach to hold mine.
Hands that I kiss and hold tenderly and will throughout time.
Hands that warm my heart with more heat then even our sun.
Hands that I will love and cherish until our time here is done.

Lips that you press hard against my now old and wrinkled cheek.
Lips that tell me that your heart still has all its passion and heat.
Lips that I kiss with all of the tenderness I feel for you in my soul.
Lips that still excite me to the point that I nearly still lose control.

Eyes that are still beautiful though hazed over and frosted with time.
Eyes that see my soul clearly and continue to love this heart of mine.
Eyes that look at me with admiration even when I am not at my best.
Eyes that healed my soul and gave me courage to challenge any quest.

You came and sat beside me lying your head so sweetly on my shoulder.
You awaken memories of passion and love that did and still do smolder.
You have owned my heart and soul from that beautiful day we first met.
You are my soul-mate, my forever, and the miracle that God to me sent.

I Love You with all the passion that my heart for you has always felt.
I am committed to you forever my darling, my heart you still do melt.
I know our love is forever and I will love you until the very end of time.
I am yours forever and when we meet in heaven you will still be mine.

We accepted all life's hardships, and challenges that did come our way.
We held each other letting our love guide us through every rough day.
We will always be in love although in one area you did not do your best.
We are one because I reached for the stars while you accepted far less.

In my arms I hold you tightly while the daylight of our lives fades away.
In our hearts there is undying love though our bodies turn old and gray.
In each others arms knowing that our mate may not be here tomorrow.
In our heart our mate will be there to help us through this great sorrow.

If tomorrow the sun shines, I hope that I am blessed to see you there.
If we are still together then that means God has answered my prayer.
If though you awaken to find you face alone all life's stormy weather,
If you listen to your heart I am there holding you we have just begun

TO GROW OLD TOGETHER!

Make Me Whole

Have you heard the song MAKE ME WHOLE? I think it was revived by Kyla in one of her albums. You'd better hear it because the lyrics is cute. Wanna share my favorite line in that song.

                   FOR TIM:

"Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven, your smile could heal a million soul. Your love completes my existence. YOU'RE THE OTHER HALF THAT MAKES ME WHOLE, YOU'RE THE ONLY OTHER HALF THAT MAKES ME WHOLE"

**Hope it cheered you up pupi. I love you so much.

Boombox: Do I Need a Reason?

Today when I saw you 
I knew it was just like the first time
When you met my eyes I came close
And I felt like the first time

To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I’ve never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I’m scared of falling into deep this time

Do I need a reason to tell you why
I’m singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that
I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on
this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am

Today I’ll renounce them,
the doubts and the fears I’ve been nursing
I’ll fly like a moth to the flame
and I’ll feel like the first time

To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I’ve never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I’m afraid of losing and still I go

They Will Always Be Kids..

Prologue: Good thing I had the chance to blog. We're almost done with our thesis and thank God we could have TOTAL RELAXATION, no worries at all but eventually, I think we have to move our defense schedule to an earlier date if we have no more revisions to make. As of now, we are revising our chapter IV and finishing chapter V so that we could submit tomorrow.

In a month, I'll be graduating soon and I can't deny the fact that I'm anticipating the day when I have to say goodbye to Ateneo though something is still holding me back.What if I don't get to see my friends anymore but I doubt it, they would always find ways to reach me, to reach each other because that's what we are, finding ways to see each other.

It's been a week since we had our 3rd adopt-a-barangay and the images of the kids still lingered in my head. I don't know what these kids have done to me that I can't seem to forget my bonding moments with them.Though I have to admit that these kids are far too different from the kids thatIi know here, there is something in them, something unique...unexplainable.

These kids..they are naturally special. They're special because of their imminent innocence. They act, they sing, they draw and they poke each other's head unknowingly. Though they may sometimes act rudely or trying to be arrogant, there is still the touch of yearning for the truth in the world. I wish sometimes I was like them, very simple yet vivid. Very natural yet very deceiving. Fun-loving yet fearful.