Masaya Ka Ba?

This is the first line that registered in my consciousness while I struggled choosing between the mountain-like documents that I have to file or to type and write instead. I really miss writing. I miss sharing my thoughts through writing :(

Early this morning, I decided to visit my old blog. I used to have an account with blogspot but due to the daily demands at work and school, I usually miss a lot of opportunities to write. I tried to read my old blogs and I somehow felt a little relieved because I can sense a bit of improvement with the way I write. I think I am a BIT organized with my thoughts this time. Sometimes, I even feel like laughing because I can't seem to recall why I had to write on a particular topic. Partly, it also amazes me how I was able to come up with such thoughts, I could not even believe that I wrote those :)

MASAYA KA BA. This is the last significant question that I asked myself before I officially requested to be transferred to the Alumni and International Relations Office. Yes, finally, I am no longer connected with the Ignatian Formation Center. It is somehow a relief, no, I am underestimating the blessings, let me rephrase that. I am SO RELIEVED to be out of the office. After keeping up with the rigid demands of the office, I was able to survive for more than 3 years. Honestly, this is the longest job that I had and I did not even know how I lasted that long. Perhaps it was the work of the Holy Spirit that sustained me.

However, me, being in the dormitory as Prefect, can still feel the wrath of her power. Yes, too much power can consume you and can make you do different things. I don't specifically understand where her judgment is coming from plus the lack of consistency even complicates things. You might be wondering what I am talking about, let's just say that she made her choices and it was as if she was pushing people to conform to her choice. She has always been like that, consistent in that sense.

I don't really know if people are still happy around her. In my case, I was not that's why I decided to leave her. Let's just describe it as a feeling of discomfort because what you preach is different from your actions. Too much anxiety builds up and basically, it can kill a person, literally and figuratively. I was in that circumstance that is why I decided  that I had to let go and I am glad I did.

I AM HAPPIER NOW. GENUINELY HAPPY.