When opportunity knocks..

Going once, going twice, going thrice and gone...

In my almost two years stay in Ateneo, I had every 'opportunity' to laugh, to cry, to listen, to be heard, to dream, to say goodbye to some of my priorities and a number of unthinkable experiences which I never expected. Good or bad, everything happened for a particular purpose.

Today, unexpectedly, the opportunity that almost swept me off my feet a few months ago knocked for the second time. However, comparing it to the way I responded before, it was more of an invitation to reassess my self - what I'm capable of, how much I can stretch myself just to achieve a certain goal and most importantly, how willing I am to pour out all the 'water inside my secret well'. Going back to my reaction, I realized that I was actually happy -- happy because I have the opportunity to grow in my field, to escape from the tyranny of my current office and to be more than the 'AA of the DAVP'. However, despite the overwhelming happiness, I am actually scared. SCARED because I'm not sure if I can handle a big responsibility, if I can handle a 'program' and if I can handle the pressure, internal and external, if in case, I consider the transfer.

Yet the more I reflect, the more I feel that what I experienced today was really more of a humbling experience, aside from it being something to look forward to. I mean, it is really humbling that someone as professional and as 'great' as Kuya Ruffy would consider me for the position. That after all pala, my efforts are really paying off, that my efforts regardless of how unconscious I am is actually doing me good. That despite all the tears and humiliation, I am actually valued by others. It is really something overwhelming :)

Now, I am looking forward to have a short talk with Kuya Ruffy. I'm not sure what the outcome will be but I am sure that I will tell him of my fears and hopefully, from that talk, I can decide if I will push through with his offer. Truly I can say that I am blessed because it's really not normal for an opportunity, which I once 'brushed off', would knock the second time around. Maybe it has more to offer, maybe it is 'sweeter the second time around' :)

I seek for your prayers that I may be able to discern what is best for my career and that God may also desire what my heart desires :)